Thursday, April 15, 2010

It has been a long time since I last posted. Blame my working schedule and laziness.


*********FUCK IT***********

Accidentally press delete for my whole entire paragraph. Now you'll never know how I feel.
Great.
Just summarise it all then.
First, I changed. Which is good. I think. I am not a negative thinker now. Guess that's because we grow and we got matured? It's a good thing, right? I don't cry like how I used to when I fall, well not like last time that's for sure.
I have no trouble sleeping now. Doesn't need a lullaby to put me to bed now. I just need a clear mind. Clear and positive thinking mind. Now how did this miracle happen to me? God knows. =)
And the happiest of all is I finally figured out what I want. Is creating joy for others. Maybe that is why I wanna be a wedding planner. And no, '27 Dresses' did not gave me any influence. I dislike that movie anyway.

Enough of my thoughts, it's probably not important or God doesn't want me to share them with others as I accidentally deleted the post earlier. So yeah, me myself will know.

Glad that I am a happier mortal now =) yay?
Not good that today my mind's disturbing.
I will always, well not always ; found out something that is hiding away from me. Was meant to hide from me and when I got to know them, it's ALWAYS a hurtful one. Not a jovial one. Why? I kept asking deep within. *blank for a while*
Nope. No answer to that. Today was SUPPOSE to be happy joyous day. But my heart is feeling rather blue. Started off my day with opening my eyes, my Mom was on my left.
Yup. We slept together. Dad went outstation with his Boss for a week. Missing him so much =(
I dislike absence of somebody from a family too long. It's like a gap that needs to be closed back.

Then later on I went to e-Gate for lunch with Mom and Brother. We ate Sushi King. It was awesome. Until I found out something. Well, skip that.
Then turned moody already. I was so naive. Even offer to buy. Haha.
Moving on, went Facebook-ing and see lots of happy faces. Happy-faces-of-people-I-cared-for.
Yesterday's Reunion. So happy to see everyone's huge grin on their faces. They made my day. It's as though it was my birthday. Haha. I want that. People I love surrounding me just this one time of the year. Don't have to be vacant for other days. Just this one day. Or Christmas. God knows why I love Christmas so much. So really looking forward to those June and September and December Reunions. They don't have to pay all the attentions to me. Just put smiles on their faces will do.
That's the best present I could've asked for. And of course, some wishes would be appreciated =)

That wrapped up my day.
Oh this was suppose to be my last working day. I felt my heavy heart wishing to come back again. It is hard to let go of something that you put much effort to go to it everyday. Yup. Everyday. Skip the off day that is. Mom said work is only for money. Sorry Mom. I don't think this way. Working is much more than the money I will obtain. It's about whether you enjoyed the work or not. The atmosphere. the people whom u work for and with. The people you meet during, before and after. The experience you gain. The love for it. The enthusiasm. The passion. (Just like wedding planning)
Oh I've mentioned about being a wedding planner before I accidentally delete my earlier post. So yeah. Do you think I can work it out? Most people tend to work well for it but when it comes to their own. Whoa~ They can screw it real bad. And I really don't want that to be me. I am selfish, yes.
I want everything to go well. From career to money-making (my husband and I) ; to great health; to happiness; to being able to have obedient children of my own. Wow! I am thinking way too ahead. Until my children . Yes, I do fantasize a lot. What harm can it be? =)
That's how I define happiness. Everything goes well. Don't have to be rich and famous. Just plain family, great friends to keep, average house, good and loving husband. Mom scolded me for being too 'cincai'. Sometimes I cannot say NO to people. So ended up me myself being hurt or suffer. Haha. What to do? My nature.

That's all for today. Hopefully I would be a little more hardworking to blog about Me, my Life more often. Have a great night ahead readers! <3

P.S: Not looking forward for dinner