I'm a Damsel

2010-06-08T06:37:00.000-07:00

I drove to school today. Don't know why I kept saying school instead of college. Haha. Sudah biasa kua. Back to driving, I would involve in an accident if not for Noel to sit beside me and guide me. Second time on the road nee. Terrible driver. Tsk tsk . =P

Today's class we all laughed til so hard. During English class. Haha. We have to make a role play as instructed by Miss Sheila. She laughed til very hard too. Everyone enjoyed it. Everyone participated. So fun!! Came back and go out again at 6. Gramma wanted to makan in gurney. So mom drove us there. Met Sin Yee with her friends. After makan went inside Gurney for a walk . Then headed home later. That's about today. Weather is so hot. =(

P.S : I-Lyn, I don't think I can drive u safely yet. In the moment. Wait til I REALLY pass xD

Updates, College, Life

2010-05-31T06:02:00.000-07:00

Some updates here about me. =)

Just finished Study Skills this morning.. Luckily I checked my paper a few times before passing up or else I would loose a quarter of my marks. =(
So sorry for Ke Yi, she did not read the questions. Sigh. better luck next time =)

I love my new friends, new environment, new everything. But I also did not forget my old friends too. I miss I-Lyn, Tze Ni, Eunice, Pei Ying, Guat Phing, Jing, Carmen, Joanne and everyone. Miss u too Che =)

Did I mention I passed my driving test d? Haha. After second time. My tyres finally >50% on the stupid yellow line on the hill.
P.S: I-Lyn, please don't say that 'word' again. Hmm. And yes, gonna fetch u first! =P

On the 28th was my friend's Shu Yen's birthday. We( the whole class) plan a surprise for her. It's nothing big but at least there was cake! haha. The cake was somehow obscene. Looked like there's one long sausage there. Well the Chef must be running outta ideas to design the cake already. Haha . But we all had a good laugh. Oh Miss Sheila, my English teacher, ate a piece. Not to mention the sweetness she shared with Mr Ravi, my Lodging sir. =D
Today, Ke Yi brought strawberries to class. Yummy. My favourite! Hehe. So I ate most cos nobody wants d. =P
Her Ahem, aka Soon Kit, brought chocolate to class. See the lovely combination of Chocolate and Strawberries? Haha. Everyone sure gain weight. Not to miss the lovely Miss Sheila sharing her piece with Mr Ravi =P
Miss Sumitha, my study skills teacher ate a piece of chocs too =)
Last saturday was fun. Class had a break with the cupcakes Shu Yen brought. yummy again. HAHA. The less fun bit was the hot-cond we had to suffer.. for around 20 minutes only. Luckily.. That make-up class la. haha. Ended the class with photo taking and they all went to have Hokkien Mee in Balik Pulau. Cyn's house there. Haha. I did not went cos have to eat with Noel and my brother. We had Sushi King and tomyam. Yummy! I ate a lot these days. Gained weight already. =/

2010-04-15T04:37:00.001-07:00

It has been a long time since I last posted. Blame my working schedule and laziness.

*********FUCK IT***********

Accidentally press delete for my whole entire paragraph. Now you'll never know how I feel.
Great.
Just summarise it all then.
First, I changed. Which is good. I think. I am not a negative thinker now. Guess that's because we grow and we got matured? It's a good thing, right? I don't cry like how I used to when I fall, well not like last time that's for sure.
I have no trouble sleeping now. Doesn't need a lullaby to put me to bed now. I just need a clear mind. Clear and positive thinking mind. Now how did this miracle happen to me? God knows. =)
And the happiest of all is I finally figured out what I want. Is creating joy for others. Maybe that is why I wanna be a wedding planner. And no, '27 Dresses' did not gave me any influence. I dislike that movie anyway.

Enough of my thoughts, it's probably not important or God doesn't want me to share them with others as I accidentally deleted the post earlier. So yeah, me myself will know.

Glad that I am a happier mortal now =) yay?
Not good that today my mind's disturbing.
I will always, well not always ; found out something that is hiding away from me. Was meant to hide from me and when I got to know them, it's ALWAYS a hurtful one. Not a jovial one. Why? I kept asking deep within. *blank for a while*
Nope. No answer to that. Today was SUPPOSE to be happy joyous day. But my heart is feeling rather blue. Started off my day with opening my eyes, my Mom was on my left.
Yup. We slept together. Dad went outstation with his Boss for a week. Missing him so much =(
I dislike absence of somebody from a family too long. It's like a gap that needs to be closed back.

Then later on I went to e-Gate for lunch with Mom and Brother. We ate Sushi King. It was awesome. Until I found out something. Well, skip that.
Then turned moody already. I was so naive. Even offer to buy. Haha.
Moving on, went Facebook-ing and see lots of happy faces. Happy-faces-of-people-I-cared-for.
Yesterday's Reunion. So happy to see everyone's huge grin on their faces. They made my day. It's as though it was my birthday. Haha. I want that. People I love surrounding me just this one time of the year. Don't have to be vacant for other days. Just this one day. Or Christmas. God knows why I love Christmas so much. So really looking forward to those June and September and December Reunions. They don't have to pay all the attentions to me. Just put smiles on their faces will do.
That's the best present I could've asked for. And of course, some wishes would be appreciated =)

That wrapped up my day.
Oh this was suppose to be my last working day. I felt my heavy heart wishing to come back again. It is hard to let go of something that you put much effort to go to it everyday. Yup. Everyday. Skip the off day that is. Mom said work is only for money. Sorry Mom. I don't think this way. Working is much more than the money I will obtain. It's about whether you enjoyed the work or not. The atmosphere. the people whom u work for and with. The people you meet during, before and after. The experience you gain. The love for it. The enthusiasm. The passion. (Just like wedding planning)
Oh I've mentioned about being a wedding planner before I accidentally delete my earlier post. So yeah. Do you think I can work it out? Most people tend to work well for it but when it comes to their own. Whoa~ They can screw it real bad. And I really don't want that to be me. I am selfish, yes.
I want everything to go well. From career to money-making (my husband and I) ; to great health; to happiness; to being able to have obedient children of my own. Wow! I am thinking way too ahead. Until my children . Yes, I do fantasize a lot. What harm can it be? =)
That's how I define happiness. Everything goes well. Don't have to be rich and famous. Just plain family, great friends to keep, average house, good and loving husband. Mom scolded me for being too 'cincai'. Sometimes I cannot say NO to people. So ended up me myself being hurt or suffer. Haha. What to do? My nature.

That's all for today. Hopefully I would be a little more hardworking to blog about Me, my Life more often. Have a great night ahead readers! <3

P.S: Not looking forward for dinner

2010-01-29T03:57:00.000-08:00

Today is like any other ordinary days. Gloomy all the while. Don't know why. My colleagues cannot tahan me going around correcting their grammar;etc. Haha. I know. I ain't so smart also wanna correct people gok =.=' haha. Anyways. I did it because I know they won't mind and I was just trying to help. Not to show off. Really. Don't get me wrong kay. =P

People like my tattoo. Especially the one on the neck. =D creedits to Cyn! She picked the neck. I picked the face. Lyn picked the hand! Haha. Miss the times in Genting already. Great times flies. Fast. Hmm~ tomorrow is the 30th already. Wow. Fast. Time really FLIES. Should I be happy or sad? Don't know. My colleagues are worrying about achieving their quota. Haha. 30 sales per month. Not easy kay. But if there's great bargains then different story le. But now apa pun takda. =(
Good luck la you all =)

Miss my friends really. Miss school. Missing everything. Felt so old already when i left school. Sigh. oh oh Thaipusam is here. Another festive seasons. I always liked festive seasons! Except the jams. But I like jam tarts. =D I know. Lame. =P

Still haven't shop for new year's clothes. =( no time, no money. Pay is coming! syok d. haha. Can spend on clothes and also undang. =0
Talk about undang. Taking it on next wednesday with I-Lyn. Haha. Day off! Cannot rest. Sorry Che. Cannot out with u ade. Gotta go for undang =(
But don't worry. We have tonnes of time! hehe. Owh and Che bought me dresses! haha. So nice la. I gave her shoes and a spaghetti strap blouse. I cannot wear. Too loose. It fits on her perfectly! =) and I bought chocs for her. =D We all love chocs! Agree? =)

Looking forward to next Wed. Really wanna finish it up asap. Cos I know listening to undang can be super boring and long. But luckily i have Lyn with me =)
Wanna finish it fast! =P

And pussycat, if u're reading this..tell me when u're free! If u can give ur timetable that would be awesome! haha. I can find u easily. Might just pop in front of u in Disted! and yeah, talk about Disted, I don't know which path to walk still. Omg. Its already so near.

I wish I know what to do

2010-01-27T03:51:00.000-08:00

this is for in the mean time. a lot more. =DDD

Genting =)

2010-01-26T22:43:00.000-08:00

people I'm back! went to Genting for 3 days 2 nights! =)
we had a blast there! pictures will tell. will upload right after!
okay.

Day 1..
Cynthia, I-Lyn, Pei Ying and I was all so sleepy and we had to drag ourselves up to this funtastic trip! hehe. I reached there the latest =( I thought I was gonna be late but luckily I wasn't. =) haha. so we went up the bus at around 7.15am. stupid blogger so lagg til can't upload pictures. hmph. really testing my patience. anyways. pictures later. next post. so we had our lunch at Batang Kali first at 12pm before going up the hill =)
then when we reached Genting, we need to check-in our room in the tour counter. so we sat there for about an hour. haha. Cyn and I went to buy marshmallow dipped chocoloate! yum! you know la Cyn and her marshmallow(mashi maro). haha. tu tu ho there's four in a stick. so everybody had one! ^^ four is a good number. later on its already our turn so we went up to our room. =)
Lyn's mom and Cyn said de must follow the rules of hotel rooms (esp. Genting hotel rooms) so we knocked three times, went in, took off our shoes and kicked them everywhere (the messier the better). then we on all the lights, flushed the toilet bowl, on the water tap, and I said 'let us stay for 2 nights only'. well, something like that. haha. fun doing it though. then after unpacking and making ourselves comfy, we headed down to the first world plaza and shopped. *pictures tell* we went to try on some red shirt. haha. nice la but Pei Ying said too low cut de so ended up didn't buy. but I bought the shirt that says, 'I LOVE MUSIC'. they said don't want so i buy only lo. then took picture of the 'Gong Xi Fa Cai' thing in front of the casino. we tried to go in but at last don't dare. scared kena shoo. paiseh nia later. since we looked so young *ahem*
then we go makan. *pictures tell*
the hot rock that me and Lyn ordered practically burnt everybody! haha. not the really burn le but its like bubble somehow (I don;t know how to say) haha.
then we went back to our room. Pei Ying didn't wanna apply the tattoo we bought. so only Cyn Lyn and me did. haha then the fun begins again! Uno Stacko! haha. we laughed like what nee cos Cyn always dropped the block. haha. 5 times k! Lyn and I win most =P

Day 2..
Pei Ying woke up earliest again. haha. so she went to bathe and wake the rest of us. as usual, Lyn is the last. =P
then Pei Ying mama made tuna bread for us for breakfast! yummy! she sat on the edge of the bed and fell. haha. so funny la sit also can fall from bed. then I put plaster for her. *picture tell*
then Theme Park time! oh I think I forgot to mention the time we woke up. it's 7.30am. and dilly-dally still we reached the earliest to buy Theme Park tickets =))
went there at about 8.40am. still not opened. so we walked around chilling ourselves. =D finally we get to go in already =)
we played Merry-go-round first! first game and still morning ma.. so didn't wanna start with the extremes. =D next Pei ying and I played Spinner. haha funny la cos Lyn and Cyn took pictures of two Lalas. LOL. then we played Pirate Ship. not scary at all. It dint went high enough. cos there were so little people and it was too early I guess. then we played Go Kart! no need to line up wan so syok. the helmet so smelly >.< luckily got shower cap. but still! yuk! then the extreme begins! Cockscrew! not really scary la actually. cos the scary part only some parts nia can't remember how many though. then we went to paddle boats. fun la cos it was relaxing and romantic! haha. aherm. we went underneath the bridge. =))
then we went to queue up at the Bumper Boat. first queue kay. cos other rides tak payah queue wan. nevermind la. so we took some Lala pictures. funny la. Pei Ying taught us how to do it. but we were so bad at it. =.=' haha. that means we're not Lala!! yay!! but the pictures are not to be soon. P & C. =P
we got a little wet during Bumper Boat though. then we went for Rolling Thunder Mines Train! name also so long. Pei Ying calls it Rolling Thunder whereas I always say Mines Train. but it actually meant the same ride. so we always got mixed up. humph. haha, Lyn said that was scariest for her wor. don't know cos we din't get to ride Spaceshot. it was under service. I was scared for that ride the MOST. haha. mana tau under service. Cyn wanted to ride it. hmmm~ don't worry Cyn. there's always a next time! wanted to play Rock Climbing but don't know why nobody is there and there is no sign of saying under service of whatever pun. so sad la.. then it's makan time! ^^ I always liked makan time =P haha. maybe because the weather is cold and I got hungry real fast =.=' Lyn pulak diarrhoe and I pulak constipate. haha. end up both also went to toilet. Pei Ying said Geli la yerr yerr etc. Pei Ying u dont pangsai wan ar?? dui!
then later on went back into the Theme Park, when we walked pass the entrance, the person was busy talking and didnt even realised we were walking pass. ish! we are legally walking in wan but nobody checked. if illegally they didnt check then syok la! haha. anyways, took pictures with Mr.Energiser. haha. lame? Pei Ying's idea. then there's this group of tourists wanted to take picture with us. mainly because of our tattoo *proud* =D then we also asked him to take for us la. we went to Mushroom Land! mana tau only fake mushroom there nia. I thought got real mushrooms growing there or something. =D oh well.. then cam-whore! went to play the stupid throw-and-get-a-prize game. so many people got the bear and we got 0! hmm. Cyn don't worry ur boy boy will buy for you ^^
we went to ride the Flying Elephant thingy. and Flying Airplane too. me and Pei Ying got a spoilt one at first. the thing just won't go down. up there nia. haha. then we queued up for Cyclone! that was the first roller coaster in Malaysia =)
there's this foreigner came to talk to us.. friendly guy. from London but originated from India (I think). mainly cos of our tattoo again. haha. they said its nice =)
and one of them asked me if I am scared he volunteered himself to sit with me. like it will help =.=' and I said I'm not scared la =.='
next we went to ride Dragon Boat! then went to Chocolate Land! haha. took picture with the Clock and rabbit and etc. haha. then walk and walk to Highlands Hotel. went to play the dizzy mia game. Teacup. I never liked that game =(
so told Cyn not to spin the cup. haha. then took pictures of love birds! =)
took picture of Lyn and the parrot. it stated there. 'NO CAMERA ALLOWED'. haha! then Cyn bought ice-cream and shared with Pei Ying. chocolate and mint. I don't like Mint! haha. then went to Dinosaur Land. =) nice and COLD there. really that cold. we were all hugging each other kay. haha. FUN also at the boat and the Cave. =) dinosaurs. while queue-ing up time there's this baby looking at Lyn and smile. so cute!! *picture tell*
i tried to feed Lyn's bread to the fishes but they didn't wanna eat =(
haha. it's hugging time again! real misty up there. wanted to view the telescope mana tau need coins. 'Nothing is free in this world' =D
then took pictures on the bridge! =)
then went to ride Ferris Wheel. yup. cold. hugs again! =)))
before we wanna be shoo-ed (Pei Ying's idea), we ended our days in Theme Park with the FIRST ride we rode. yep! Merry-go-round! I think I missed out some games that I didn't say le. haha. okok. I know u guys are bored already. pictures time! it's killing time too. so slow T.T

2010-01-23T03:19:00.000-08:00

had yee sang today. haha. I know.. early ones.. =) anyways.. gonna head to Genting soon d.. tomorrow.. heheh.. just now saw Renee. her hot momma isn't here. aww~ =P
I just realised that I promised to post up pictures here but I didnt! blame the memory card reader and blame my dear! haha.. in God's will.. someday I will =P
anyways.. nothing much today lar.. just work and work. didn't go to salon today to perm my hair.. I feel I want my hair to have its natural style ler. and also.. my poor butt will suffer if I had to sit for 4 hours =(
haha. so as usual. nothing much ler. packed my things d.. hope I did not left out anything.. haha. if I do, cham la Genting's stuff super expensive! =(

<3 u

2010-01-18T19:21:00.000-08:00

here I am again. surviving my 19 days of year 2010. to the dragon boat's group from Chung Ling that has deceased, I hope you guys do rest in peace. sigh~ why in life, things could be so unpredictable? those poor guys didn't even get a chance to do things they had never done. and the saddest part was, even the corpse was eaten by fishes in the sea. i don't blame those fishes. i don't blame the teacher advisor, because he died too. and not because he died i don't blame him. it's because, well, like i said, life is too short. so why blaming when we can choose to move on? I, too, might just die tomorrow...already this morning on the way to work time there's been an ambulance passing by the other side of the road. disasters kill.

I am still blurr right now. march is getting nearer and nearer. clock's ticking, earth is revolving, i am aging. God, this feeling sucks. how can someone be so sure with what he/she is gonna work as in the future? i mean, the field that they are gonna step into. because, life is too short and unpredictable. Again. yes, these few incidents are making my mind getting more and more confusing, really. more and more opinions are killing u know that? gosh, there won't be a day I will close my eyes and doze off. there must be something, something in my head.

I am playing too much games these days. u know, it is putting my head off about my problems. but still, gaming is not good right??

Dearest, after all these years, u can tell me, that what we expect in a relationship is different? and I look for u only when I need u? omg i really can't believe my eyes. come to think of it, it is somehow true. but i want freedom? hey, just going to a guy's friend's birthday is so wrong is it? i dint even sit for 5 minutes. do u even know? and the way u telling me? pissed me off. and it's so hard to be a middle person. so i chose to leave both. and before this i thought that u don't like me to go to my ex's birthday. that one I can accept so I chose not to go. but this? I can't imagine future. cannot be guaranteed too. I told myself not to cry myself to sleep de. I broke my guts. eh, and u know what? I actually did not cry already these days now. last few nights not counted. I guess it's too pain? I am so unpredictable I know. God knows what am I gonna do next? like I said, I might die the next thing u know.. so live life to the fullest!!! must keep reminding myself that. the future is not promising k. so don't expect much. because if the higher is our expectations, the higher is our disappointment. and something really shock me is that u don't like me working in an environment where guys are present? i'm like wth man? how about future? be more open minded. at least i know my limits! trusting each other is already so hard. to gain trust in a relationship is even harder. but why aren't u trusting me? am i so flirty? so bitchy? u said u're very pressure that i am too good. well that's not true. many better ones out there. i don't even know what to do. arguements are too tiring. everyday not enough sleep and having other stuff to think about? God, we aren't machines. even machines can worn out. like cars? need to be serviced. what am i? crapping? or whatever i am saying here make sense at all?

Think positively! ok, grand uncle is gonna come and have lunch with me tomorrow. but still he''s gotta check his busy busy schedule to fit me in =(
see? how busy this man is. tsk tsk. i am proud to have him loving me so much too. he's really cool. oh did i mention about his job? he works as a speaking person for Penang's turf club. I don't really know what that post is called as. but hey! u know those people talking and cheering over the microphone? haha. yep. that's my grand uncle. cool guy. at his age. like my grandpapa. aww~ that guy. loves him too. <3 =)

and there's my mom, my dad and my bro. my mom early morning waking up to prepare my bro for school. hey, is my memory getting worse or did she did that all for me when i am 12? no. when i was in kindergarten i already waited for bus all by myself! haha. independent? no. that was because i was trained. and my bro? doesn't have that. i still remember my daddy tied a pony tail for me every morning. i will sit on the floor and he will hold a comb with a rubber band ready to tie my hair. he will sit on the bed waiting for me with his sleepy and drowsy eyes. haha. i really missed those times. i sleep with them in the same room. and i wondered how did my brother pops out suddenly. haha. no sound at night? i was too busy sleeping to not know. better not to know 'how'. haha. funny laaa. my bro is having extra classes now already. kids these days. parents are too demanding.. seriously kay.. monday and tuesday extra classes in school. then come home already must do homework and then the book i bought him. i felt bad now for buying those books. maybe i shouldn't push him too hard? but if i don't, then who will? i'm the big sis here. and i bully my bro. sometimes. =( what? sometimes! haha. omg i sounded like a mommy here la i feel. haha.

last saturday was funnnn! I-Lyn, Eunice, Pei Ying and Guat Phing came to find me in gurney. that time was working there. and i had to buy them tickets for their movie. haha. as i was lining up i saw Miss Kweh and Miss Loke there. bad Miss Kweh. still dint wanna tell me why. yeesh. but i got over it soon already cos i am not as curious as before anymore. hehe. I learned to get over with curiosity. so, moving on, had lunch with them at food court. so paiseh nia Miss Kweh treated me tomyam. hehe. it was nice just like that. and then the four of them came. so we chatted and they dragged me to cold storage. haha. then we had to split. me, working. them, movies. life is so unfair =( haha. i wasn't that sad laaa. fun kay. then my dear came over which surprised me. ^^ love u. later on he went back and met up with the gang again. hehe. my Yu Yi and Hou Sam have to go back first. so split again cos Yu Yi went front door and Hou Sam is back door. so me and Lyn went with Eunice and PY went with Yu Yi. eh i still so sayang u k. hehe. hugs. it was sooo funny la the way dear Eunice interpret our every move. haha. i was standing in front of Lyn and her legs are under my body and i was like doing a 'horse stance' u know like those learnt in tae kwon do? haha. then i was splitting more already as her legs got wider. so yeah i was alert kay. but when ure beside that girl. no matter how alert. sure gone! haha. so there i go, landed on my right ass. and i told them i was alert. so they asked why u still fall? of course la i was imbalance! and my rubber's quality ( i meant my shoes) is good ma so it halted and i jerked. then they started laughing. i was so blurr. so Eunice say it all over again. my leg and Lyn's split. then i falled. and the rubber with the better quality. so u guessed it! haha. so we had to re-run the whole scene as Lyn record it down. but not so funny as the first one. but still! we laughed til Eunice's mom's call came. so we walked her to the car and waved goodbye. that day was fun. =)

Even if I don't show it, it doesn't mean i don't care.
Even if I don't show it, it doesn't mean i don't love you.

back to cafe world =(

2010-01-10T19:46:00.000-08:00

hey people! I'm back. haha. lazy to blog these few days. hehe.
the reason i blog today is cos I'm too bored and too free. yup.
firstly. i also wanted to write about my resolutions. not resolutions actually.
it's more to like, things I wanna achieve.

1. first of all, I wanna make sure my brother gets 5 A's in his UPSR. yes. weird I know. and the best of all, ME, his sister, is gonna make sure he achieved that. seriously. I already bought him books to do and books to read and taught him, give him tutorials. haha. I hope that I can keep going because u know I do things halfway always. and I wanna change that negative part of me and be a better person through that. experiences. =)

2. second of all, I wanna learn driving. haha. I know, many people did already. nvm ma I have I-Lyn to accompany me. hehe. the reason I need to drive is because I can go to elsewhere with a lot more ease and I don't have to ma huan my dear. hehe. nad my parents too. and not to forget, my grandparents too.

3. third of all, I need to figure out what is it that I want to pursue in. Til now, still have doubts. I'm so gonna die.. march is like so near... chinese new year is so near too. then those 'sam ku' aunty aunty sure ask, eh what u wanna study ar.. etc etc. i hate it. and then go ask my parents too. like to compete. I dont like to compete. u guys know right? oh, talk about competing. i had bad memories. someone accused me of competing when i dint! i hate people to accuse me of doing something which i dint. why must people guess about negativity? why isn't there any positivity? and i dont like to explain things. u wanna think that way, then fine. i dont usually 'simpan dendam'. but some things that is too hurtful. better keep quiet. it's been 2-3 years already anyway.

4. I wanna learn mandarin and take up music lessons. but yeah, I dont have the time. its sad kay.. I wanna learn them so badly. I dunno why but since I was a little girl I like music more than arts. arts are ok i guess. just that I dunno how to appreciate them. no matter how people said that's a beautiful/an ugly painting, all i see is a painting. sorry but i dont know. but i really love to travel and visit art gallery. its nice to see different thigns once in a while. oh and i loveee taking pictures. hehe. and i wanna learn mandarin. I'm a Chinese! haha.

5. I wanna think twice before I make a move. I've learned how important it is to do that because once u have done something u might regret, then u already loose. u loose a chance to do it again. there is no guarantees that u will feel it again.

6. I wanna spend more time with my family. I wanna spend more time with my friends. who knows what will happen later on? who knows I might leave them? who knows they might leave me? I can't take goodbyes very well. but if I knew I had precious moments with them, then I would heal faster. I wanna learn not to hate. as the saying goes, Life is too short to hate. its true. and hating is very tiring. and it takes up my evergy. I get moody and I get frustrated and I eat. a lot. haha. yeah I do.

7. I wanna make peace with the people I messed up with. that takes a lot of effort, patience and guts. Sorry if I hurt anybody. I meant no harm. and to Cyn, u mean no harm I know. I forgive u. =) btw, why do u want my latest picture? I havent send it to you.

8. I wanna be independent. because I know that whenever u're an 18 year old, that means u have to 'berdiri di atas kaki sendiri' already. then there's this working thing and studying thing. and I'm still lost. people scolded me that I am immature. and I dont like it. but now I know. they are right after all. because I really am immature. I still dont know how many things work. the other day when my mom was talking about house loan and installments and etc. and damn i only understand like 40% of it. it's so sad isn't it? I mean. the lawyers, agreements and stuff. I partially understood though. so obviously the curious kid here shoot them with lots of questions and they got frustrated with me as they never get to discuss things! oh boy, I can be really noisy k.

9. The truth always hurt. so I learn to forget. forgiving is the best way too. so learning to forgive always!

-----will be continued-----

2010-01-06T03:03:00.000-08:00

dedicate this to beloved Eunice

2010-01-05T21:30:00.001-08:00

starting off my day with diarrhoe-ing. my God. hate em! yesterday night 3a.m only sleep =/
I know.. couldn't sleep and watched my show. haha.
then 6 smtg woke up to the toilet. Gah! then slept back. then woke up to toilet again.
sigh~ Ah Keat is laughing beside me now. bad colleague. laugh at a poor girl.

anyways..i dreamt of some stupid dream last night..
it was beyond my expectations.. I never thought I will dream about that!
yeesh.
some guesses. it was right though. I dreamt that I became friends with that rude person.
very stupid dream I tell u! some more good friends to the extend. =.='
I DON'T want to hate people anymore. dreams haunting me even during when I'm resting. like the saying goes, 'make friends, not foe'. well, give it a second thought and it is proven right. haha.
gosh my tummy. killing me =.='
should have off today......God bless me.get thru the day....

I might just go back earlier later.. craving to watch Avatar =/
ahhh~ I miss out the part that this morning, I-Lyn called. haha. and she asked me if I ready to go already? I was so blurr and thought that we had an outing?then I stunned for a while.. then she said, oh u're June ar? haha. it was funny though. somehow I had a bad feeling about it. then I didn't wanna go think further so I just ignore it and woke up. I hate thinking about it again and again. I've had enough things to think about. and yeah, I get more and more moody these days. sorry dear if I let go my temper on you =/

there was once upon a time

when we look at each other and smiled.

to reminise those good past

I'll have to let go of the bad ones.

****************************************************

2010-01-05T02:55:00.000-08:00

ahh. alone at the booth. just now so pek chek kay.. running here and there. sheesh. at last now can sit and relax a bit already. hmm~ still thinking of my plans after results. whose advice should i follow? i don't know really. first i told my mom.. i already made up my mind I'm going for culinary arts. she kept quiet. then asked me if I have other interest in? then fine. I said that there's some other choices actually. so I listed down every single course for her.

~gynaecology
~culinary arts
~hospitality and tourism
~mass communication

there. she said gynae is the best choice. that made me REconsider. sigh~ so, I need to rethink.
I don't like making decisions really. especially something that pressures me a lot. so yeah.. have to think and think again.

yay! took salary de. although not much. but I really happy in the sense that my hardwork paid off. hmm~ but that will mean that no more allowance and also need to buy new year's clothes with my own money.. ahhh~ quite fun.

then there's this trip to Langkawi this Friday I am suppose to go.. due to work, mom disagree. =/
it's been a long time since I travelled. I really LOVE travelling.. maybe after Chinese New Year already I guess. anywhere will do. at least from Penang awhile. doesnt mean I dislike Penang.. I love Penang. its the best here =)
sigh~ still headache.. too many opinions I guess. like my grandpa always say.. "too many cook spoils the soup" haha. but two head is better than one right? =.=' nvm.

sometimes it's hard to show how u feel appreciate.

although what u're doing meant no harm.

omg this is really a good experience. just had a customer that is deaf and mute came to my booth and asked me about P1. I'm really glad I helped them well and they could understand me. we communicate through writing. =)

they get special rate for P1's services. that's good. we should help those unfortunate people. I felt good and proud of myself for a minute. =)

this is the first time for me. so, YAY! =)

can u believe it????!!

2010-01-04T00:54:00.001-08:00

gah! the more u dont want to see someone the more u will see him/her!
omg that ****h is gonna let me see him/her every single day!! f***! gah!!

2010-01-01T20:15:00.000-08:00

great job taylor swift! i love her....haha..

2009-12-27T22:05:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSqSqL-vjcU&feature=related

nicee =)

2009-12-27T01:34:00.000-08:00

rude people can be really RUDE! haha. yea la abo den? rude what. happy eh mood being spoilt by some rude people.. I don't except him/her to be that rude. walao~ don't like people who's ignoring others when being introduced. hmm~ today BL sent a promoter here. I don't really know his name. haha~ did not asked. anyway my supervisor came with his secretary to our booth and checked us out. I like my supervisor. He's cool and funny. Unlike my previous job, the supervisor isn't really THAT nice. haha. that rude person some more make people eh booth dirty. know how to eat don't know how to throw =.='

so fast and it's already sunday! tomorrow a new beginning of the week. and Guat Phing. to my poor Yu Yi, lost her phone =/
God bless her and grant her with a new one. =)
and moving on, Yu Yi have u changed your blog's font yet? or else i won't read. haha. lazy to select all. hmmm~ feeling kinda hungry now after being moody. see ya

2009-12-26T23:22:00.000-08:00

just saw I-Lyn passed right in front of me when we texted about half an hour ago or less.. haha what a coincidence! Pei Ying's message arrived on time! haha.. well, enjoy your 'pan noodles' dahling... who ask u to ask your mom go and buy for u? hahaha! nene bubu..

2009-12-22T22:24:00.000-08:00

i will upload pictures soon! sorry la don't complain no pictures ya! =)

sensitive issues alert!

2009-12-16T22:04:00.000-08:00

Part 1

This is probably a sad and joyful moments at the same time. Why sad? Why joyful? Well probably because everyone is leaving elsewhere and things aren't the same anymore.. I did wondered, is it because of humans' doing or is it because of one's feeling inside? i seriously don't know. It kept me awake most of the times.. I'm serious.. Sad memories make me hard to sleep. Problems too.. Sad isn't it? this is not called insomnia. I think. sometimes it is the human's brain that makes us this way. you see, sometimes friends do talk about each other. I admit. everyone does. then how did things become so complicated? as in, misunderstandings happen. i told her, I want peace. I don't want misunderstandings anymore! What to do? Do good deeds. We believe in karma. yes. Karma. But the past? We cannot simply neglect them, can we? think about it. How things came up. look on the other sides of things. It might be unchangeable.. but at least. It is once there. We can choose to look it at the other way. maybe just maybe we need to think further..but at the end of the day, you will see that, it is all worthy. Why give hope, then take it away? or shall I say, leave it unacknowledged? haha. anyway, it can't be only a person's fault. It has got to be two. or probably three? or probably provocation? that's a really really powerful poison? hmmm~ nevermind. whatever it is. I'm not the type that will go up to somebody and ask him/her directly. because I know. I will never get an answer. I-Lyn melt my heart away and I do feel like crying to her that night. but some part of me pulled me off. Kept telling myself its best to keep it alone. or twosome. =] how nice if we can be like every chinese new year? whole family members/ friends members sitting down toasting and updating and can just talk about anything. Maybe and just maybe some of us do. but, its amongst oneself. I guess. haha. I'm okay but it hurts me when there is a sobber. really. I felt like towards the line and asked for an explanation. haha. it would be hilarious. like I said, no point doing so. no answer. Well can only wish for things to be normal before new year. Somebody has to do something. Why not me? If I really care. But do You care? It really plays in my mind. every night.

plans?

2009-12-16T20:05:00.001-08:00

hilary duff- come clean
sunny

i kept wondering.. what do i really wanna do after this?? or after taking results? hmm~ headache.. Eunice's mom gave me some suggestions.. mass com, psychology, etc. and myself i liked hospitality and tourism, gynecology, mass comm, culinary arts. but lots of people said, experienced people to be more precise, said, 'don't work hotel line! not good!' haha. i wonder what did they been through.. seriously, so bad meh? then all those hotel workers ma cham? pity.. ? hmmm~ i don't know really.. i envy some of us.. but maybe they wish that they are in someone else's shoes instead. humans... never satisfied. some rich parents already have their own business lined up for their children.. then others already planning for colleges even before exams and submitted their names for colleges, etc. some probably are like me.. wake up and sleep again and eat.. don't know any plans. plans are important.. i know.. but just that it's so hard to figure it out. hmmm.. i guess some of us have plans from parents already. just that they wish their parents won't plan everything for them.. as u know.. like in the movies..? running away from home just because the plans their parents made is something that they wouldn't want or like. sad isn't it?

Quest: What do You think is the best choice for me?

2009-12-16T00:31:00.000-08:00

sunny
boring

another working day... yawn.. sien la.. hmm~ forgotten to say about pesta day.. hehe... i ride the 'challenger' ride.. =.=' almost throw up.. haha.. met Ari and her family there.. asam bui healed me. haha. ah phing ask me drink eh.. then later on went back to sleep at Lyn's house.. Cynthia scared nia...... after watching Zombieland... me and Lyn couldn't stop laughing.. haha. then later we cook maggi mee and eat.. its like we always do that when sleepover at Lyn's house.. xD then they din't liked my soup =( sad betul.. i kena drink them all by myself.. actually they gt drink abit also lar. then the next morning we went to SPCA with Tze Ni! fun lar get to play with the animals there.. its like for a minute U're not so stress... hmm.. then we had chicken rice.. with Tze Ni's mom.. her mom paid.. paiseh betul.. then we waited for bus to Prangin mall.. walk awhile.. Lyn bought computer games.. Sim's 3 i think.. then bought Ari's present.. then went to the bus ticket booth area with Cyn to wait for her uncle.. then me and Lyn went to wait for bus.. met Euodia there.. did i spell her name correctlY? hehe.. special name.. then we went to gurney.. but the bus stopped at midlands for awhile lor.. but guess what?
we stopped at Lyn's aunt's house then we both fell asleep on the couch for 1/2 an hour.. haha.. jeremy watched cartoon.. we were watching with him earlier.. but we both slept in front of the tv. =p then her cousin came which happens to be jeremy's mom; fetched us to gurney cos she wanted to be in mph with jeremy to buy books. he finally saw a book that the 3 of us liked. haha. it is entitled 'Freaky Facts'. then later on i bought it for my brother.. cos its really nice.. =p
then later we waited for bus again.. i felt like my throat is burning and and we had to wait under the hot sun.. that time was about 6 pm ler.. then i thought oh no, fever! die die.... the night b4 i some more told i-lyn and cyn that u both eh immune system so poor ar get flu so easily. and see la now i pulak fever de.. and we had to walk up the hills...the hills that pei ying said the person siao wan if they were to walk all the way up. =( so yeah we siao. haha. then I-Lyn mommy fed me panadol and off the fan. yes. want me to sweat.. and she's so sweeeeeeeeeeeet....made her own 'kool-fever' for me.. hehe.. muacks! then i had to kuai kuai go to bed with the fan off. she some more dint whine when its hot.. i felt so touch.. *tears rolling* haha! then we bathe and went to ananda bahwan to eat.. Ari's birthday celebration is there.. hehe.. we bought her earrings.. she loves it. =)
me and Lyn went off at 9 smtg.. went home... no keys! kek ki nia.. =.=' then went around the island like that.. finally find my grandparents in Copra.. aiya i feel my story very boring ler
gonna say more later....

Q: what will you do to repay your friends' good deeds? ppl who read must answerr!

2009-12-15T05:30:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNICE!

2009-12-15T03:18:00.001-08:00

feeling: sick
surrounding: funny

hello everyone! hehe...finally....i remember my password.. i know its stupid right to forget? well.. thats me! currently.. as ya'll know..just finish SPM. yes! happy. actually not very happy la. cos i didn't really study.
felt bad really... hehe.. anyway.. to sum up, i am working now.. but blogging at the same time.. =p
seriously, quite stress these days.. til my face eh dont know what came up de.. haih..

family all good..healthy.. one just passed away not long ago.. during spm actually.. then my dear is in kl now.. then friends.. hmm lets see.. Lyn is in kl.. then eunice's birthday today.. we went out to celebrate.. with Guat Phing! fun. although i had to go off early. met ben and ariel and gwen(ben's cousin sister). then off to work de.. hehe.. cynthia le cannot go starwalk.. sad.. me and phing walk alone......got see some ppl there too.. hehe.. pei ying walk with her cousins.. we walked with CT awhile.. boy, was she fast.. =.=' fun! except the fact that feet-ache problem.. hehe.. then after starwalk went to gurney.. fun too! hehe.. i heard jing working in Tao.. maybe i should go there one day to eat and bully her. hehe.. oh yeah, did i mention i am now working in tesco? hmm.. spot me! =p gotta go de.. someone looking at my blog now..=.= tata!

2009-02-27T07:06:00.000-08:00

peps i am back! =]
too long de since i last updated.. so i also forgotten what to write after these long. hmm. i'll just brief about my day then =]
started off with my alarm ringing..time for schooling.. =/
then school. embarrased betul to have tears in front of ppl. hmm. was actually disappointed. it's like, i don't belong anywhere. ppl thinks i am not good in anything? Lol. it's stupid to even care for other's feelings when they are inconsiderate. it's such an unappreciated action done. =/
oh well. at least my mom is sweet today =]
i wanted to eat kinder bueno, so she take me to 'suiwah' nearby my house. then none. then she wants to take me tesco just to buy! haha. am i dreaming? lol then went to nearer eh guardian =p
i know this is getting boring. met my dear today. how i hearts him =]
makes me feel better by telling me that it's ok. take it as an exercise lo everyday go run in dam.
i went today too even though i knew about the news this morning. oh i met my aunt and xin yi today. she don;t know me pun. haha. my mom met my aunt yday and today. ada jodohnya. tomorrow is Sports Day! Fry is gonna be second or third. why i did not say first? basically, DZ will win always. no doubt. even school has their own politics =]
ppl in my school will know. oh ya oh ya! i lost my purse! and and find it back! thank God i did! i was like praying and praying..hoped that will find it back. luckily i did. without anything lost.. cool eh? =]
i still don't get it how did the person found it find my purse. and being so honest. wow. =]
bless u whoever u are *winkss*
gonna stayover at I-Lyn's over the weekend. =]
we have some secret mission ! xD
not that secret la anyway.....=p
lazy to type de luu.. i go off de lar. bye ya'll =p

gazing up, eyes open wide
searching for it, in the night sky
i tell u, look at the ceiling, look at the reflection
you will find, the very thing u are looking for.

2009-01-10T01:59:00.001-08:00

suddenly had a flashback. a thought that happened last year.
i wonder why this could happen. i try to tell myself it's not true at all.. i hope..
but my mind keep flashing back to the time where i saw it. and everytime i do, it's so hurtful.. i try not to believe it's true. but how could i? i mean, i SAW it with my own eyes k? if someone else would have told me, then, at least i can still accept it. accept the fact that i might be troublesome to u guys. so now, i try to remind myself, hey, no, don't say it, dont ask, everything, just put a damn smile on ur face, and make sure, it is not a forceful one. make sure, it doesn't seem forceful though my heart knows it is. argh! God bless me with all the strength and courage in me please. i hope...i really hope...that i would be a good mask.. not to leak a single expression. not a tiny bit. i still can't believe my eyes. this can't be true. this can't be you. this can't BE!

2009-01-10T01:10:00.000-08:00

updates!
sorry Eunice and all.. i know.. it's been super long since i last updated xD
so.. this should be a very long post right since i did not update for so long.. but sadly.. it's just a short one.. due to lacking of time here.. and tomorrow i'm going out. so yeah.. year 2009 is here! but um, i'm not really excited like the spirit i have for christmas last year.. ok, no more sad stuff la for today's post.. =]
school and everything is okk i guess.. everyone is healthy.. but dont know if they're happy.. only God and themselves will know.
anyways..chinese new year is coming! 'ang ang' de my grand's house.. haha.. she really put in lots of effort to decorate her house every chinese new year.. made lots of cookies and all too.. some for small business and some for ourselves.. some she'll give to closer friends.
just went to gurney yesterday with a friend of mine.. bought wrappers for textbooks and stationary.. saw Michelle with her parents.. my friend saw countless person =.='
like so popular de.. aherm. tomorrow will go for a birthday outing with my friend. watched 'Bedtime Stories'. star Adam Sandler. so u can expect how nice is the show right? =]
wanted to watch 'Australia' too..star Nicole Kidman and some guy which i dont know his name. but then it's a romance show and i want to watch with someone but that someone watch with someone's friends already. hmp. oh well.. people! watch Bedtime Stories. niceee =]
my back is aching now..ahh, so chao!

2008-12-15T03:57:00.000-08:00

i am back! haha.. just in time to tell about the hokkien songs i like.. sung by Selina and Lee Hom. =]
hehe nice k? don't know the title. aiya, next time ask Pei Ying.. oh yea Pei Ying! Ke Au! haha..
ok.. the song so nice.. the MV.. i got to admit Selina looks cute and damn feminine.. thanks to the hairstyle and dress =]
currently reading I-lyn's blog also. haiyo always got lots of comments to say eh. but the blog so long de by the end of it, poof! forget everything. =/
sorry ya Lyn =p
oh i was reading Ze's blog also.. =.=' I know.. so many thing to read.. haha.. who ask me to lazy on9? =]
its good that Ze put her friends link.. cos the blogs i read are usually somewhat there also. hehe take advantage pulak. =p
and i no time to read phing, rize, ben, etc etc person eh blogg de.. thanks to my limited time and i didn't bathe yet =/
oh yea! i went for BBQ. and came back sorethroat. hmph. so song song go eat mana tau come back sorethroat pulak.
throat swollen like what nee.. haihh.. i swear i ate a little bit nia!! =/
haiya.. oh Pei Ying if u're reading this, please la let me read ur blog......see the blogskin also cannot die right??? though i don't know how to read mandarin. hmmm~ see ur cute eh pics haha~

CHRISTMAS IS COMING! HAHAHA... =P

2008-11-28T01:01:00.000-08:00

half of me is really happy.. but partly, ******
sigh.. so conclusion? mixed up.. i don't hope my next 50 years to come eh life will be like this. i really don't hope.
well.. basically.. *breathes in* i am stupid. i don't know why but, i am stupid. i feel stupid seriously.. ah well.. it is just a feeling.. but who cares right.. um, well, i don't know.. for now, i just want to work and forget everything.. it's best like this.. i feel left out.. =/
i shouldn't be like this. be strong! God will always stay with me right? =)
hope so... i must be tough always.. nobody will help me if I'm in trouble.. so must be real tough i tell myself.. everything, inside. safe and sound. voila! locked air-tight.

oh phing, don't be too hard on yourself.. cheer up k? i know its hard but, try to look on the bright side.. nobody can ever help u if u like this k? =]
love u ppl..

nobody loves me =/

2008-11-25T22:07:00.000-08:00

LUCKY-Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

2008-11-25T01:33:00.000-08:00

okay.... continuing my post from yesterday..
my mom was nagging..so yeah.. first of all, HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN WEI YEN!! if you're reading this. =]
i highlighted it with purple. she likes this colour.. i think.. well that's what Ze told me.

some facts i know about WEI YEN .
she is a RED skirt in our school.. aherm.. she's not actually a skirt.. haha.. she's a prefect.. she joins the ed-board and debate.. she's a really nice person and same like any other 16-year-old who does gossips about guys and bla bla bla.. well i guess that's normal =p
she's also a bookworm. aherm. storybooks. hehe.. just like I-Lyn =p
but I-Lyn is more CORRUPTED Haha!

*she is so going to kill me*

moving on..erm.. what did i wanna say?? i can't remember.. was interrupted by my brother..
oh well..
forget it.. hmm~ gotta go de ler......byes
and

*HAPPY SWEEETTT SIXTEEN WEI YEN*

2008-11-24T02:23:00.000-08:00

Part 1

i should be thankful that i am still alive, still have a shelter, still have good food and nice clothes to wear. i should be thankful i have fine body parts, a cell phone to use, a computer and a tv to entertain me. i should be thankful that i am not an orphan, or simply a person which has only few months to live. i should be thankful that i have emotions. i should be thankful that have my friends there for me. i should be thankful me. i should be thankful that i am able to write, to do so m i still have people to celebrate my birthdays withany things other people in this world cannot do. i should be thankful that i was blessed with a family, friends and people in my life. i should be thankful that i am not a person u will forget after meeting me yesterday. i should be thankful that there are still people who cares for me.. LOVES me.. concern about me. etc... i am sorry that i have negative thoughts all this while. but i never blame myself for thinking this way. know why? that is because, when a person is lonely, has got nothing to do, has gone through failures, and i mean real bad ones, could really really lose their self-confidence... so whenever u see someone having their bad times, please don't be like my mom who will surely say how stupid they are and etc.. lifes today cannot be compared with lifes yesterdays..that's because in different eras, we'll face different difficulties.. so to people who likes to say things like, u know ar, u all are so lucky nowadays, last time ar, we use to go through tougher times, worse LIFE than you are today.
take back your words. live life realistically please. as there are lots of things that people will go through..tougher than even back then.. though your times might be less fortunate, less luxury, but think again, the more luxury we are, the more competition, the more envy, the more whatsoever reasons.. and also, the 'kiasu' [scared lose]-direct translation from hokkien-we are.. if u people don't believe me, go and see georgians' magazine year 2007. they even do research on how kiasu we georgians are.. and boy, u will know when u see those answers they gave.. their ratings are, 10/10 mostly.. haha.. what to do...? we have to have this spirit in our blood.. or else, just get married and stop studying, don't need such high aimings in life anymore.. haha.. that's what my mom always says.... but its true though.. =]

Part 2

a part of me was thinking, hey, u're such a loser u know?
yes i know and i admit i am.. and how should i overcome this? avoiding my not-so-bright-self with others.. not mixing with people that i cared for? etc etc.. i am very as in VERY negative type of person....sigh..so, what should i be? a girl to always avoid people? i don't know...i am still thinking..trying to make decisions.. a new resolution for my form 5.. all i need is some courage from people around me.. but how are they gonna do it? i need some actions, some advice, some some words filled with confident for me to stay upstraight again..i am now like a wilting plant.. so someone, anyone, please pour down some water to moisture my almost dying body? just some drops will do.. just some dropss.... i am dying of this agony.. slowly dying.. i am too young to die.. so someone please? sigh.. enlighten me.. i am very vulnerable i guess..haha!
oh, working is fun.. except the tiring part and the part where i meet RUDE customers.. they can be really really selfish, no manners at times.. gosh i hate rude people.. =.='
i want to blog more after so long.. but too bad.. my mom wants to go out already..
so til next time =]
oh yea.. i was planning to do something.. hehe.. my friend that knows about this said that i am like gonna go away to a very far place and never comes back =.='
oh well.. tyll people.. thanks for the time reading this.. buhbyes! =]

HAPPY HOLIDAYS~!
Christmas is coming!! i am SO SO excited!! haha...like a kiddo eh? =]

hehe.. still having my wonders......which part of me should i be choosing?? O.O a huge question mark

2008-09-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

i have a secret. but to some of them it's not a secret.. lol nvm.. =D

exams are coming up.. i'm sure everyone's tensed, having exam fever and so on.. but why oh WHY am i not afraid?? at all! gah, as usual, i will be the 'smartest' among all.. =] that's what my mom says and its so true though.. compare.. haihs.. whatever la.. hmm.. Pei Ying and I-lyn's birthday just ended! it was fun.. will upload some pictures sooon. =]
i love outing with them all.. so so nice!! i lovee my friends ler.. <3>
serious... =.='
without a lot of people and a lot of things i can die.. but, with some people and some things a i can die too. haha! swt me! =p
tomorrow's my darling KONG KONG's birthday! happy birthday Kong Kong! as if he would read this =.=' but oh well.. i lovee him a lot a lot.. hehe..
yesterday was my uncle's birthday.. the youngest one.. =p
i miss him though after he went to KL to further his studies.. his gf is sweet.. and pretty =]
i miss calling him 'tua pooi'
xD
he shall kill me if he sees this O.O
haha!
that's all i guess.. =]

Cyn-i wanna go ur hse!
Lyn-i wanna write ur book some more! =] memories. and also the preface stuff haven done yet.
sorry ya the other day super sleepy de so cant do.. ><
Ze- u still have band practice during hols???
Jing- dont let me see u and Mr. Teh in anywhere or i shall perli u teruk teruk! xD O=]
Rize- i miss u too de! =/
Carmen-u dont look like a Lohan =.='
Pei ying- i haven seen Narnia yet.. perhaps u should ask the person with super banyak CD. like ms KOH =] eh u go to that Nicole eh bday party? haha
Gor-when bowling? xD
Ah Hao-say wanna chia me when ar? =p
Eunice- are u single still or what? hmm~
Tze Ni- ur facebook's pic look like ur leg grew longer..xD
Phing- happy dating! ^^
myself-start studying...............=/

2008-09-22T02:38:00.000-07:00

confusion.....................
haihs haihs haihs...
mood-less
exams...
homework....
blahs.
what am i saying?
CRAP.
chaos--

2008-08-27T04:12:00.000-07:00

i am so tired today.. running here and there.. i bet some of my classmates too.. pity them.. i really hope the participants will appreciate our hard work. moreover, our darling HM brought forward the date.. that's like.. WT... !
whatever laaa..
don't think too much.. lol
well, let's see.. what to write ar? hmm i'm lost. =/
che! when are u coming back? tell me a specific date k? =]
jia you 4 Aked! we can do it! xD

gifts.

2008-08-09T07:56:00.000-07:00

ahhh~
when did i last updated?
hmm..
went to Gurney today.. with Pei Ying and Ze Yin.. yes, to buy presents.. this month and starting of next month is when we all are BROKE. i am serious people.. and all close friends so...yeah...gifts..
everyone likes gifts don't they? but do they actually know why people give them? and the importance of gifts? it is the time when u show appreciation to people you love, care for, concern, sharing their part of life with you because they too, love u.
receiving and giving also meant, the quality. yes, i mean Quality. let me get this straight.. no matter what form the gift it is in.. it is still from the one u care.. u love.. etc etc.. so no matter what the content is.. it's the heart that counts.. and the best gift in life a friend can give u is not, quantities, nor expensive gadgets nor cool stuff, blah or wrappers by professionals etc.. its the time they spend making it.. the time they spend choosing it.. the time they spend planning it.. the time they spend keeping money starving themselves, etc just to get u that gorgeous dream dress of yours or whatever stuff.. to those materialistic receivers, you might feel that this thing is darn cheap.. ntg worthful.. but do u think that everyone is as rich as you? have as much time as u? they have nothing better to do? they purposely spare that last probably 15 bucks just to get u a good book u love so much.. could they have spent on something they like.. i had this experience once.. well probably few times.. cant find the thing that i want to buy.. feeling so miserable going home.. i mean, i don't want to be sad.. know why? cos i cant get the thing my friend like so much.. and to see them happy, i will be happy too.. i love to see many many presents pile up together and having smiling faces on everyone's face lighten up with pretty pretty smile of theirs and go, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ___________! like that! a sound of joy.. appreciation.. love.. remembering that very special day.. and my dear loyal readers, be faithful.. be true to yourself and your friend...

and yeah.. i would like to get straight on something..i don't tell u things is maybe because i don't tell anyone at all? it's not that i don't trust u.. but do u tell me everything? do u, keep things from me? the answer is we both know.. so don't feel sad.. its nothing.. nobody here is not doubting ur trust.. everyone loves u.. i love u too my dear friend..

and if things don't turn out the right way.. then find the right corner and U-turn again.. i'm sure it is not end of the world right? cheers! =]

every happening is a gift in disguise<3

2008-07-27T04:55:00.000-07:00

its already hurting doing this to me.
why u still wanna chop me into pieces when u already stab my heart? can u let me even die in peace? now i am not in peace. i am in pieces. i fucking hate u god. where are u when i need u? i swear i want u to take me away. now!!! to god knows where but here! take me away!!

2008-07-25T05:40:00.000-07:00

tagged by ze yin

ONE WORD ANSWER

1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your significant other? trombonist
3. Your hair? tied
4. Your mother? tv-ing
5. Your father? somewhere
6. Your favorite thing? handphone
7. Your dream last night? errr..
8 Your favorite drink? water! =]
9. Your dream/goal? happiness
10. The room you’re in? living room
11. Your hobby? blogging
12. Your fear? lost
13. Where do you want to be in 6 year? hmmm~
14. What you’re not? happy
15. Muffins? yep!
16. One of your wish list items? happiness!
17. Where you grew up? penang
18. The last thing you did? texting
19. What are you wearing? clothes
20. Favorite gadget? handphone
21. Your pets? none
22. Your computer? acer
23. Your mood? down
24. Missing someone? loads
25. Your car? volkswagen! jkjk
26. Something you’re not wearing? necklace
27. Favorite store? anything
28. Like someone? =]
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When is the last time you laughed? =D
31. Last time you cried? last night..

i tag,..
YOU

happy doing

2008-07-23T00:59:00.000-07:00

current mood-tired of everything
in-pei ying's hse
feeling-gloomy
craving for-a more jovial me
eager to-sleep and don't wake up and face reality
waiting for-a call from che
currently-lonely
need-love & money
dislike-people don't do as what they said (even though i am like that sometimes)
thank-my diary
hair-messy
head-ache
option-dead or alive
song-sentimental
instrument-piano/keyboard
gadgets-cell
food-chocs
color-grey
wear-his shirt
understanding-everyone around. his mom

we're stuck. or is it only me? God knows..
it's amazing how things turn out to be like this. no doubt. x]

don't cry because it's over
smile because it happened..

because i have loved life, i shall have no sorrow to die

expect nothing, live frugally on life

the good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge
[i sure hope i have the courage]

2008-07-06T05:46:00.000-07:00

`believing you is like believing a bee.
`yesterday was history, today is a gift, tomorrow is a mystery.
`life is an echo of joy.
`appreciate today, pray hard for tomorrow.

2008-06-29T02:41:00.000-07:00

ahhh.. it's been 10 days since i updated my blog.. what's up with me these days? sigh~ whatever it is, all i can say is, year 2008 is the worst year for me.. as far as i lived though. a lot of things happened.. i think i'd like to keep them unrevealed. i mean, no point of me pointing it out le.. it won't make differences anyway.. maybe things would be worse.. yeah, as how i'd expected it would be.. so, be it.

i am really tired le.. tired, exhausted of things and incident these days.. too much to write.. and lazy and no point of me doing it.
lalala~
all i can do now is, go on my day like any other day.. be miserable.. keep quiet and be patient whenever something happened to me that can stab me to death.. i know i am crapping, again. gah, whatever.

family: looks ok. but not very ok
friends: looks ok but not ok
love: complicated
money: pokai
studies: drain
brain: tangled
emotions: empty

birthday

2008-06-19T07:55:00.000-07:00

yesterday i had fun. =] thanks to all my beloved friends for the presents u guys gave me... it's awesome man! i love all of it.. i seriously do.. ^^
and the card.. =D i love it so so much.. thanks guys.. u guys always have wonderful surprises.. =]
u people did made an effort brighten up my day.. and it turned out to be well..gah, can't write long already.. gotta go catch up with my work.. =] hugs.
i try to post some pictures of it.. but, my phone's camera damn lag.. so, haha.. and i don't own a camera.. well, i'll see what i can do.. tata!

2008-06-15T06:38:00.000-07:00

i need to be more realistic.. i need to be tougher.. God help! who else should i seek? i can't think of a single mortal! gosh i am so doomed.. i need to calm down for around half a year.. stay cool.. i am thinking positively.. but i am afraid to face it.. what if it's the wrong answer given ? what will i do? i could die i swear.. i am afraid.. to face it.

tag

2008-06-14T07:22:00.000-07:00

6 things I'm passionate about
-the
-things
-that
-i
-love
-most

6 things I say too often
-i love u
-shit la
-oh fuck
-omg really ar?
-yes?
-no?

6books I've read recently
-i
-cant
-remember
-any
-books
-seriously

6 things I learnt for the past year
-just be yourself
-tell the person u love, that u love them
-show ur love!
-don't give up hope
-treat people nice if u want to be treated the same way.
-be humble!

I Tag..
-phing
-lyn
-cyn
-joalin
-and
-you

band comp 2008

2008-06-14T07:05:00.001-07:00

went to the stadium today.. with jing,and her *ahem*, mei yen, su jen, guat phing and ken min.. he was there too.. =] he looks cuter and cuter every time i see him.,O.o haha~! pardon me.. =p
the comp was awesome! jit sin got first as usual.. second was chung ling butterworth.. third was our school! SGGS! haha! happy! =p well, at least this year our school maintain right.. last year and this year got third placing.. hehehe.. will post the pictures soon.. =]

2008-06-04T21:13:00.000-07:00

i felt so proud of myself today.. know why? 'cos... whole night I've been thinking.. hey girl, why should you make yourself so miserable huh? just because other girls talk to him and you're so sensitive over it.. you should be ashamed of yourself.. remember how u always say those chinese ed people being so self-centered and paranoid etc? and now u yourself being like this. tsk tsk... & & after much thoughts, I now am ok with it.. just some chit-chat only mer.. can't kill me right? =]
some more it's his classmates and close friends.. so it's ok.. and some of them even have bf already.. ahhh~ I think too much sometimes.. hope that the changes I've made can give us hope.. =] nothing is impossible right? =] be like Jing, she's in cloud 9 already.. she can't seems to stop smiling.. =D
good for her.. =] and be like Pei Ying, no worries.. hmm~ nope, or should i say be like Shannon? he said sometimes we ourselves make things complicated.. perhaps we should let some things be more, casual? basically, in short, don't think too much.. like I said, our brain is really something.. it can control your whole mind set about something.. so just relax.. don't pressure it too much sometimes.. =] I must learn to be less sensitive about things.. maybe if I have this thoughts much earlier, things wouldn't be like this......... sigh~ I tell myself, it's ok le.. now that I've realised it, it's never too late to change =] as the saying goes, better late than never right ? =]
and yeah, I miss him terribly.. I really do.. and I don't see anything wrong with it.. so just be it.. I miss him.. =] I totally utterly miss him. =D so what? don't be afraid to say it out.. be proud to let people know.. I have feelings, u have feelings, so does everyone! =]

2008-06-04T00:11:00.001-07:00

well.. kl wasn't that fun.. i regretted i went.. never mind de lar.. came back also already.. sigh~ felt so empty.. real miserable.. but why? i myself don't even know what the heck is wrong with me.. then how to help myself? i hate myself.. more and more each day.. damn it.

random

2008-05-30T17:38:00.000-07:00

ahhh~ a post before i head off to KL. now is 8.40am. =] don't know why automatically wake up this morning.. and the time is only 7.30am. haha.. craze! never mind.. my body is just the same like the master.. unpredictable.. =]
well.. i had a dream again.. hmm~ i am gonna keep it to myself this time.. i don't see any point of writing it down anyway.. hmmm~ how incredible.. our brain.. hmmm..
gtg...see ya ppl~

ATTENTION!

2008-05-29T04:44:00.000-07:00

there's this carnival coming up called 'Bon Odori'
i'm sure many of you have been to bon odori before..
so, i am selling the coupons. yes, this year, all food and beverages need coupons! =]
and how to get them? from me of course! leave me comments if u want yea..
or call my hp if u have. =]
here's the details.

PENANG-BON ODORI CARNIVAL 2008
DATE: SATURDAY 19TH JULY 2008
TIME: 6.00PM TO 11.00PM
VENUE: ESPLANADE, PENANG
COUPONS: RM20 PER BOOK. [CAN SHARE WITH FRIENDS]
LEAVE COMMENTS IN MY COMMENTS BOX. THANKS.

initiative

2008-05-29T04:17:00.000-07:00

sometimes, people tend to have no guts to do something.. or express their feelings to someone.. whom they love for years.. et cetera.. well, why shouldn't they? i mean, it's no use keeping your feelings to yourself right? but there's still risk and circumstances to be reconsider.. not all confession will be successful though. but if u never try, u never know right?? that's the thing.. but sometimes u are not tough enough to face the challenge.. so what are we to do? we can't practically pleased everyone right?? and even if we do, we will only end up hurting ourselves unknowingly.. tell it to a trusted friend would help a lot. but some people prefer to keep it to themselves. so, it depends on the individual.. just how do we overcome the problem.. hmmm~ feelings are the things that we human cannot control. so it's really tough for everyone of us.. no matter what it is, we still need to face them and live like normal days.. sigh~ a moment ago, i was feeling down.. real down.. and we all know what is the thing or who is the one that can only cheer us up.. bring us back to life again, do we? but what if this is one of the things that can't be fulfilled? are we just gonna end up suiciding?? or or crying?? or what...? i don't know. do u?? what i know is, i am a negative thinking kind of person.. i would do stupid things at times. so it's no biggie for me to see these things.. and i had weird weird dreams.. and the dream that i dreamed has something to do with the thing i am going through.. it's so cool right?? how powerful our mind is?? it can even control u when you're asleep! they just don't let u go.. then u ended up perspiring when you're awake due to the nightmare u just had. it's not a good feeling.. it is definitely not. out of a sudden i just want to go to some place calm.. away from this crazy place.. i just want to be alone.. for a moment.. but not forever.. i never wanna be alone forever.. it's scary.. just some time alone would be great.. free from this hectic place a bit.. unlike just now, i wasn't myself.. feeling so down, useless, stupid, pathetic, a burden to people around u.. et cetera.. but then again, when u are feeling like this, usually, people, would definitely think of negative thoughts about themselves, don't they?? but think again, there's another part of u hidden inside u can be real good.. real sweet.. real decent.. =] so, when u're at ur worst, think of the wonderful things about urself.. u can feel pretty good.. i know i am just good at saying things but real bad at doing it.. well, at least try. even if i can't, u people should try.. seriously.. don't be like me.. =] that's all for now i guess.. ----

2008-05-28T20:14:00.000-07:00

it's been a few days already since i updated my bloggie.. so where should i start?? erm~
oh yea! i went skating with I-lyn, Guat Phing, Eunice and Cynthia(supposingly) but Cynthia came real late! and then ended up four person skated only.. i was terribly hungry already so i stopped and went for breakfast in Chopper Board.. haha.. skating was Fun. hehe.. what else?? hmm~ nothing much happened already i guess.. not in the mood to blog.. lol..

pictures pictures pictures!!

2008-05-25T03:49:00.000-07:00

I-Lyn emo-ing.. xD

look at Ze.. *ngek ngek*

aww~ i like i like i loveee this!

Pei Ying arranged this! xD she loveeee sausages.. tsk tsk~

two psychos SS and love mr doggie.. lol.. ntg better to do..xD

top view..=p

bottom view..=p

i wasn't ready for that shot. =p

I-Lyn's eyes are closed.. O.o

tired de.. wanna zzz de.. =p

i know la u two love me.. but dun have to show it til like this ma.. xD

look at Ze Yin's eyes.. scary~

aww~ nice shot eh? ^^

from Ze Yin's mom.. hehe.. thank u aunty! =]

thick eyesbags.. =(

aww~ pretty isn't it?? ^.^

i did made 3 wishes.. =]

the photographer and me! i got a hole in my teeth.. =.=

a warm group picture! =]

pictures speak more than a thousand words..

thanks you guys!

2008-05-25T03:02:00.001-07:00

24th of May 2008 has been one of the best day of my life~! thanks to mua beloved friends... x]]
*lotsa hugss and kisses*
they threw me a surprise advance birthday party! =D
aren't they the sweetest thing?? ^^ haha~ i can't help praising these people.. =p
oh oh Ze Yin and Mei Yen took some pictures.. =] will ask them to send them to me soon so i can post them up for everyone to see.. =]
so who are the angels that attended??
obviously myself (perasan-ing) =p and then my friends ; Carmen, I-Lyn, Mei Yen, Ze Yin, Pei Ying, Jing Min and Tze Ni! wait! plus the adorable Ah Kai.. hehe.. =p
okay, it started with Pei Ying and I go to Ze Yin's house.. Carmen and I-lyn was there.. I-lyn was the earliest.. ^^ then, we started cooking.. the spaghetti was cooked already earlier.. so we cook the sauce.. i was cutting the onion and garlic.. hehe.. then Jing came.. after that was Tze Ni.. she came after tuition.. then Mei Yen came after her guitar lesson.. hehe.. then we started to eat spaghetti and drink mushroom soup.. while eating, we watched 'Seed Of Chucky' .. hehe.. everyone was so scared.. except for Jing and I-Lyn obviously.. they were like, off the lights! haha.. and Mei Yen screams her head off thanks to me scaring her.. lalala~ =p
and then here's the fun bit, I-Lyn asked me to go and see something in Ze Yin's room.. she on the computer.. and then i wanted to transfer in some songs into my phone.. so i went in.. so we waited for the com to on.. and then somebody came in and say, come watch the second cd of seed and chucky! then i said, I-Lyn wants to show me something lar.. then she said, nvm lar later only show u.. so i went outside.. it was so dark.. O_O i was like, why off the light man.. then everyone shouted happy birthday and sang the birthday song.. and yeah.. hehe.. it was so touching.. ^^ then cut the cake, eat the cake and take pictures.. hehehe.. then one by one went off.. starting with Carmen, Mei Yen, Tze Ni, Jing, I-Lyn, Pei Ying and myself sleep over in Ze Yin's house.. hehe.. it was fun.. and to Cynthia, Guat Phing, Wei Yen and Kim Mei, it's okay ler u guys can't come..Cyn is cos of her aunty.. Guat Phing is her mom don't let.. Wei Yen is in KL for debate, and Kim Mei couldn't turn up.. there's still another time right? =] our everlasting friendship will lead us to more and more parties and etc etc.. and shopping! xD and skating! =p tomorrow.. hehehe.. my mom is gonna kill me le i go out so many times.. nvm la.. hehe.. and i am not sure of tomorrow.. =p
and lastly, thank u all so much! love u all so much! and also, thanks to Ze Yin's mom! she gave me angpao.. so paiseh.. >.<>

p/s : i was too touched til i forgotten to smash u people eh pretty pretty face with CAKES.. xD

2008-05-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

Buckcherry-Sorry

Oh I, Had alot to say
Was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things werent the same
Cause everything inside, it never comes out right
and when i see you cry, it makes me wanna die

Im sorry im bad, im sorry im blue
im sorry about all the things i said to you
and i know i cant take it back

I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
and baby the way you make my world go round
and i just wanted to say, Im sorry

This time, i think im to blame
Its harder to get through the days
We get older and blame turns to shame
Cause everything inside, it never comes out right
and when i see you cry, It makes me wanna die

Im sorry im bad, im sorry im blue
im sorry about all the things i said to you
and i know i cant take it back

I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
and baby the way you make my world go round
and i just wanted to say, Im sorry

Every single day i think about how we came all this way
the sleepless nights and the tears you cried
Its never to late to make it right, oh yeah

Im sorry im bad, im sorry im blue
im sorry about all the things i said to you
and i know i cant take it back

I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
and baby the way you make my world go round
and i just wanted to say, Im sorry

Im sorry

sorry if u think i should apologize.. sincerely apologizing.. <3

gotong-royong

2008-05-23T08:10:00.000-07:00

ahhh~ went to school to clean the school just now.. =( making my whole body so tired... nothing much happened today.. was kinda disappointed with something.. never mind that.. sigh~ my birthday is coming soon.. well.. not really.. what's my greatest wish of all? is everyONE to be happy ALWAYS! yes.. that's VERY VERY important. i don't want anymore tears and heart-breaking! enough! and i really really hope that i can see his precious smile =]
one of the greatest gift too.. i wonder if he remembers my birthday.. though it's not very important..it's ok ler i guess.. he is having exams too.. so i think it will be okay.. and i wanna go shopping! xD i know, i am such a shopaholic.. what to do? girls ma! =p and and i am broke! =( some more gonna go skating with I-lyn, Cynthia, Guat Phing, Eunice and Tze ni! die laaa.. mom sure nag de.. =( never mind.. let her nag la.. hehe~
oh yea~ tomorrow would be fun!!! hehe! a lot of people going to Ze's house.. so i bet it'll be really fun.. no more sad sad stuff.. =p my birthday wish is gonna achieve.. =p and and yea! forgotten about one.. no more wars and natural disaster man.. it's a real pain to hear about these kinda news k.. so please be thankful..=]

invisible

2008-05-19T08:08:00.000-07:00

went for the wesak day progression just now.. i wasn't tired this year.. don't know why.. tonight i don't want to talk about peer.. so....... i know it's lame but i cried on wesak day.. =.='
never mind.. don't know why my tears automatically roll down my cheeks when i saw someone with someone.. lol.. i am talking nonsense again.. never mind. and i felt so invisible.. i feel like i am a little kid.. a sudden thought of myself not suit that special someone.. this is a terrible feeling.. ugh! why am i feeling like this? i hate myself seriously.. why am i being so sensitive? paranoid? emotional? bla bla bla~ and pei ying said i am not holy.. which is kinda true.. i was thinking of this question the whole time.. and my stupid brain go think that is it that someone is shy to introduce me to that someone's friends? something like that.. am i not good enough? what should i do? no wonder 360 degrees of my life is so dull.. frankly, a warm hug or a smile from a special someone can colour my dullest night. <3

i hate being too jealous sometimes..
trying hard to change.. give me some time.
...teardrops...

you

2008-05-15T06:11:00.000-07:00

the word 'you' can mean a lot.. in fact, every word to me means a lot.. i feel weird.. haha.. like some teacher said something about some word.. some words has very big meaning or something like that.. so someone's word or actions or pictures.. anything.. can seriously influence someone, hurt someone, cheer up some one~ et cetera et cetera... so use your words wisely.. think twice before shooting something.. think twice before doing something.. and even think twice before wasting something.. it's a sin to waste..

i can't help thinking about and of you. <3

page 2

2008-05-15T04:58:00.000-07:00

Appreciate

Nat and her friends had planned something really nice for her friend's birthday.. and tomorrow is the day! she can't wait for it.. she hopes her friend likes it.. as they had put a lot of effort in it.. =] but~ they are going to have a pot luck! and Nat doesn't know what she should bring for tomorrow.. =( ahhh~ never mind. there's always ups and down in our lives.. tomorrow would be an up she hopes.. =] the down side of her is, sadly, friends.. she is still in this fear.. it's like.. she's a volcano or something.. should she like, erupt it or swallow back the lava?? =.=' ignore me crapping.. but, one thing that made Nat sad is that, she's afraid.. know what is she afraid of....? she's afraid of Rainie.. Nat really treasure this friendship with Rainie.. but another thing is.. Rainie is like.. not being herself or something.. Nat herself is confused.. =( i am worry about Nat.. she's confused and scared and everything.. doesn't know what to do.. sigh-ness.. another thing is, influence.. is Rainie influencing Phoebe and Carrie? Nat noticed that Phoebe seems to be a little different.. don't know how different.. she seriously don't know.. but then again, as i said.. she's really sad and afraid.. maybe she is too weak.. too weak to loose a friend. a valuable one.. the one she appreciate.. running away from the reality is only temporary.. she needs to face it bravely.. so now, the only way is either sound out for her friend's own good, or, let it be the way it is.. and see how's everything.. she can sense something.. something will happen.. some thing~ BAD.

page 2-appreciate
being yourself is what makes u a powerful magnet
grasp whatever is in your hands tightly
don't cry because u loose it, smile because it happened
better late than sorry
p.s- some quotes are self-made..=D

page 1

2008-05-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

page 1~drama
there's been a lot of drama going on here and there. no one is to be blame.. it's how everyone around want to take an actual day to speak out everything that is wrong.. could it be Natalie? well.. that's a question to be consider.. she knows if she does this, then she shall be the hatred one.. but who cares right?? Natalie doesn't give it a damn. know why? cos she's tired and sick of these whispering and eyes contact and etc etc~
moreover, she knew that if she is to plan an outing, she knew that some of them wouldn't wanna go..plus, even if they go, one gang here and one gang there.. scattered everywhere.. that's for sure.. no doubt.. so what can she do to save everything?? she wants some advice that would hurt no one's feeling, won't mess up everything, and hopes someone she can count on face it with her as this is not easy.. help her! she is just like all of us.. a mortal with soul and emotions and a fragile heart.. would anyone care to leave a comment so that we can all help to save this win-win situation?? tell her what to do! she is helpless now.. the bricks in her walls behind her always supporting her is getting lesser and lesser day by day.. she almost tumble.. so can anyone please tell her if she should say everything out and tell her beloved friends that what is wrong with her or them? or both? don't keep anymore...!
or should she keeps quiet and let everything go the way it's been always? she is confused.. oh yes she is.. u don't know.. u just don't.

page 1-friendship
ignorance is bliss
action speaks louder than words

jerk

2008-05-04T06:48:00.000-07:00

i felt so bad.. i am a real jerk. seriously.. i let go my anger on him.. its not really angry but.. sigh~ i don't know whats wrong with me.. and i told I-Lyn to help me.. =] thanks girl.. make sure you do it tomorrow.. heh..

CHRISTINA AGUILERA-HURT

Seems like it was yesterday
 When I saw your face
 You told me how proud you were,
 But I walked away
 If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh
I would hold you in my arms
 I would take the pain away
 Thank you for all you've done
 Forgive all your mistakes
 There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
 But I know you won't be there
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside
 But I won't admit
 Sometimes I just wanna hide
 'Cause it's you I miss
 And it's so hard to say goodbye
 When it comes to this, ooh
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
 Are you looking down upon me?
 Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back 
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
 For everything I just couldn't do
 And I've hurt myself, oh
If I had just one more day
 I would tell you how much that I've missed you
 Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
 It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
 And I've hurt myself..
 By hurting you

i fake a smile so he won't see.....

unrevealed

2008-05-03T23:00:00.000-07:00

its is impossible for me to find someone like you again.. no matter what you think, but if i ever fall in love again, i swore the feeling wouldn't be the same like how i felt for you.. i typed a whole long post but due to some error its all gone.. ahhh.. stupid post.. never mind.. here's a short one.. i guess its ok too.. hmmm~

when you smile, my world is lit again.

borderland

2008-05-01T08:26:00.000-07:00

i cant believe i am actually watching movies when exams is like, four days time..? hmm~ i've been a bad girl i know.. =( this film called 'borderland' is really.. *speechless* its about this drug dealers who's trying to smuggle drugs to the northern side.. he praised the Nganga(i think) and sacrifices people to pass the cops.. they'll be hallucinate; something like that.. and then smuggle the druge to the northern side.. this show takes place in Spain.. they chop off human body parts alive.. did i mention they even chop the head and they likes it even more if the poor guy shout??? this is ridiculous isn't it?? they need to be teach! they're born with this type of environment.. somebody has got to do something about it.. its real life story btw.. i felt so sick now.. tataz

and before i go, i'm crying again.. i know.. i should take whatever that is coming.. but i really can't take it.. i tried.. i really do.. when i opens and see it,there goes my tears.. . . . . . . . . .

exams.. =(

2008-04-30T05:26:00.000-07:00

yeahh.. exams are coming soonnn.. sad isn't it? how i wish it could end faster! =( and i still have reports to write, folios to do, homework to be done, etc.. this is a tough year for everyone i must agree.. seeing everyone's life is so hectic and down and complicated..everyday.. happy moments are just getting lesser and lesser.. sighness.. holidays.. faster comee.. but then again.. not much of fun also la i guess.. to me, holidays nowadays is something normal for me.. nothing to be happy about or excited about.. =( my brain's getting more and more confused nowadays.. he's tensed up too i know... that's why i am trying to avoid bothering him so much.. but will it affect anything between us? only God knows i guess.. sigh.. things don't always go the way we want them to be i guess.. if we're meant to be.. then whatever is happening now or whatever he is thinking now won't affect us.. =] just wished and prayed to God that he is blessed with great health and may happiness will always stay with him..bless my fellow friends too.. taking exams.. haihs.. not much time to study and i can still sit here and blog.. keng? xD

-afraid to loose u
-wake up and face reality
-don't be afraid and be strong
-God bless all of you
-felt so tired
-need a long rest
-need to get away from my life for a short while and clear my mind
-need some air; suffocated
-mind is all tangled up
-you would be happy always
-knowing what is on your mind
-everyone would be happy
-war stops
-etc etc...

我爱你 xing ni bu yao li kai.. teng wo.. cos wo hui teng ni te.. =] <3

hyper! x p

2008-04-23T03:46:00.001-07:00

today i felt like blogging.. its only 6.46pm and i am here sitting in front of the computer not getting my homework done but well, blogging.. haha.. i have so many things to say! lol. i felt i don't really blog about myself lately..well, practically not my problems or anything.. just that i don't want some people to feel hurt after reading my post.. but what is my main purpose of blogging?? is to get update with my life right? so why care what others' may think.. i don't backstab. if anybody do feel i do.. then go ahead and tell me.. i think i can take it.. =]
ahhh.. so fast.. another month passed..its gonna be the 25th again.. <3
i know alerize.. u love it when i put <3 right? xD <3 <3 <3 ^^
i guess i will blog again tonight about my life more kua.. maybe next time.. see my mood ..=] chaoz

sleepover in pei ying's house!

2008-04-19T08:50:00.001-07:00

okay, today is the very FIRST time i sleepover in someone's house.. i know.. i am very kuai.. =p
so today is a memorable day! 19 April 2008! =]]

this is the so called 'cool' picture! =p

this is me promoting pei ying's printer..haha! too sien de..=p

this is two of my best friends! =p
i like this picture! *smiles*

[joy+excitement+hyperness]+ur words=souless

2008-04-11T08:50:00.001-07:00

haha..i know it doesn't makes sense! =] i am going crazy.. yeahh.. i admit.. nevermind.. i really dont care about anything anymore.. i've had it with my life.. seriously.. some people are like 'uhhh' and still.. haihss... i know my post does not makes sense.. nevermind.. =.='
i guess i will stop blogging for a period of time already. i mean, what's the point?? like it helps.. maybe for some of us.. but not all.. so back to my old lifestyle! everything keeps quiet and wah lah!~ nothing happened.. even better.. i tell out also didnt change anything in my life.. so no need la.. =] tragedies and drama and chaos and God knows what else is coming up for me.. i guess this month's horoscope is really true.. it says that i better prepared myself to face more and more stress that will somehow lead to depression.. nothing can stop it from coming.. so.. oh well.. guess thats all.. see ya'

tag

2008-04-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. What are you craving now?

2. What was the last movie you've watched?
just like heaven.. i watched it again actually.. does that count?

3. If you were to be stranded on a desert island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you?
umm.. none.. cos, i wouldn't want them to be stranded with me.

4. What are you most happy with now?
hmm~ i am luckier than 70% of the children around the globe?

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
to be...erm...i dunno... i think i'll want everyone to be happy.. its so sad seeing them sad.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
yeahh..

7. Why are you wasting your time to do this?
its because i find it interesting?

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
abo! life is short...so why must we be afraid.. its not a crime to love someone..

9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
hmm~ helpful, kind and sweet

10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
well, i wish i could be better.. for everyone.. and myself of course.

11. Which type of person do you hate the most?
haha. i hate liars, wanna-be's and also pretenders..

12. What is your ambition?
to be.... i dont really know.. today i was asked by ze yin too..

13. If you have fault, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
depends on who i am finding faults with. *winks*

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
most important?? well, dont have.. everything that i treasure are equally important! Family, Friends and happiness(him)

15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
haha.. u think??

16. Find a word to describe the person who tagged you
erm.. she is EMO xD

17. What will you do when someone faints in front of you?
i would follow him/her and let other people worry about it. =]
haha.. call the ambulance ler..

18. What makes you different?
i am no different from others actually..

19. What am I eating now?
jellybeans.. =]

20. Why do I believe in fairy tales?
i believe in reality more.. fairy tales are sweet sometimes.. but it's not wrong to imagine at times..=]

i would tag....erm....i duno...lol...anyone feels like doing it just go ahead..=]

2008-04-08T06:59:00.000-07:00

hmm, yesterday i went to my new add maths tuition.. the sir is a really awesome teacher! i am glad i have such an awesome teacher.. =]
one thing i hate about the tuition is......yeah, the girls from ***.. they're like super 'quiet'.. like they're outing or something.. =.='' terrible man.. but overall i guess it's ok.. =]
today i-lyn and guat phing gave me a necklace.. they bought it for me from malacca..or KL.. i dunno..haha! but still, how thoughtful of them.. oh yea and ze yin bought me something too! nice.. and it's green..=p thank u so muchie! go on a trip and still think of me and got me something.. *sniff sniff* xD now i am exaggerating.. =p
today i made a list of memorable things.. i scared that i can't remember them.. so i did.. =]] and i missed out some i reckon.. sure of it.. bad memories.. sigh~ must eat 'ginkgo' already.. xD
i want to buy a book and record everything inside! and put in some pictures too.. will do it when i got go out lar.. hehe.. i wish i had a camera.. on my own.. =( so that i can take all the memorable places.. and great people i've met throughout my whole life.. and keeping it.. hmm.. soon... hehe..i hope.. =]] and i think i must get a cdr-w and keep all my pictures inside.. or else later if my computer is taken to reformat, i am gonna break down and cry.. seriously... his computer already had it.. ze yin's also.. but luckily some of it she burnt them into 2cds earlier.. =]]
hmm~ i guess that's all for now.. relationships between my friends and i are ok in the mean time.. i hope and pray that we will remain and perhaps gets better! =]
mine and his is.....i dunno about it myself... ><> <3

doomed

2008-04-06T06:01:00.000-07:00

dieeee......
i didn't touch any of my homework.. kuai le me?? =]
some more can online.. haha.. superb.. gonna go work like hell now.. =p
see ya!

loving him more and more each day..=]

queensbay with pei ying!

2008-04-05T08:58:00.000-07:00

yep! i went to queensbay with pei ying today! hehe~ it was fun! except for the part where we waited for the bus though.. stupid bus don't know why din't come at all! waited from 4pm to 5.30pm. can u imagine that?? 1 and a half hour.. wasted.. grr.. at last her dad have to fetch us there.. will post some of the pictures soon.. it's with her.. hehe..

went to different different shops.. hehe.. most of the things i see there reminds me of 'us'.. haihs.. no matter where also can bring my mind to him.. its so.... i dunno.. i see stars bottle.. i see manga.. bleach.. extreme.. pig.. pooh.. tgi.. sushi.. bossini.. cinema.. god. is that almost everything? haha..

we walked everywhere.. fun fun! =] except the part where our feet hurts.. haha.. then in bus stop time piggy back pei ying.. *u are so light thats why..=p*

too tired to type de.. =( thats all for tonight.. =]

Mariah Carey-Without You

No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows

No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now it's only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

I can't live
if living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
if living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore

Well I can't forget this evening
Nor your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows

I can't live
if living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
if living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
(No I cant live)
(No I cant live)
I cant live
(No I cant live)
(No I cant live)
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
Can't live..

unbreak my heart

2008-04-04T09:30:00.000-07:00

Unbreak My Heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry this tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my

Un-break my heart oh baby
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on

can't go on

i love you
never change...don't think of me that way please..----> <3

could things get worse?

2008-04-03T23:41:00.000-07:00

well.. i hope things are getting better for everyone of us..
why he act as if he doesn't even care about me? haihs.. most of the time message also he's like so pissed.. i think i should stop texting him.. maybe he's sick of me texting him everytime? i dunno already.. so confused about everything.. i wish someone could lecture me.. every principles of life that i should know.. not sitting here sighing and knowing exactly nothing.. i just wish that i could read people's mind.. seriously.. it's so hard to be someone else's friend. what does it takes to be a good friend? friend as in many ways.. friends 'friend' or family's friend.. or love friend.. ahh~ i don't think anyone would understand what am i talking about.. crapness*
nevermind that.. all these while i've been trying so hard.. to be better.. but i guess.. i should have let him have more freedom ler.. *i know u are going to say i am making more assumptions* =]
hmmm~ lets see.. went to school today.. i-lyn, guat phing, ze yin and kim mei went to KL already.. and quite a number of students are absent.. so the class is kinda empty.. tomorrow gonna go to either gurney or queensbay with pei ying and cynthia.. as we are the 'kuai' ones staying in penang.. xD and i am so gonna fail add maths again in my next test!! if i don't buckle up now.. i am doomed.. =( sad rightt?? i am so stupid! lol..

some people just don't appreciate what they're having in their life ya know? for instance, parents whom are too controlling?? try to be in their shoes before saying it le k.. i mean, they care for us thats why they're concerning about us rightt. or else, why they even bother to care? too free ah you think? hell, no. there are even parents more strict than your own ones k.. so stop complaining and and all u freaking care is your THE ONE. hmm. i don't mean to say it's wrong u know? just that, dunno la.. how the heart feels and how the brain thinks of it. lol
balance is the best.. hehe..

14 days more to go..should i be happy? sad? nervous? scared? i have no idea.. maybe its a bad idea after all.. maybe he hopes that that day won't come? is he excited??? *no idea* assumptions.again. oh well.. tata`

2008-04-02T08:18:00.000-07:00

Amazed-Trademark

Everytime our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams

Chorus:
I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark (ooh yeah)
Your hair all around me, baby you surround me
You touch everyplace in my heart
Oh it feels like the first time everytime
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes

Chorus

I'm amazed by you, yeah

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
[Repeat]

Every little thing that you do
Every little thing that you do

Baby, I'm amazed by you

it's hard to forget someone u love.. yet u know u cant be with them.. why don't u pray? maybe some day she would change her mind le? dun sad de yea.. u know who u are.. =]
i'll still be here for you no matter what.. and i don't hate u ..lolx x]]

songs!

2008-04-02T07:53:00.000-07:00

yeahh.. today i am just gonna express my feelings out through these amazing songs.. =]

Bryan Adams-Please Forgive Me

still feels like our first night together
feels like the first kiss and it's gettin' better baby
No one can better this
still holdin' on, you're still the one
first time our eyes met -  the same feeling I get
Only feels much stronger - I wanna love you longer
You still turn the fire on…
So if you're feelin' lonely don't
You're the only one I ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love ya a little more than I should

Please forgive me - I know not what I do
Please forgive me - I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me - this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me - if I need ya like I do
Please believe me - every word I say is true
Please forgive me - I can't stop loving you

Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch
We're still gettin' closer baby
Can't get close enough
I'm still holdin' on - you're still number one
I remember the smell of your skin
I remember everything
I remember all your moves - I remember you yeah
I remember the night - you know I still do
So if you're feelin' lonely don't
You're the only one I ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love you a little more than I should

Please forgive me - I know not what I do
Please forgive me - I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me - this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me - if I need ya like I do
Oh believe me - every word I say is true
Please forgive me - I can't stop loving you

One thing I'm sure of - is the way we make love
The one thing I depend on
Is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm prayin'
That's why I'm sayin'…

Please forgive me - I know not what I do
Please forgive me - I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me - this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me - if I need you like I do
Babe believe me-every word i say is true
Please forgive me - If I can´t stop loving you
Never leave me-I don't know what I do
Please forgive me- I Can´t stop loving you

Can't stop loving you

april fool!

2008-04-01T07:18:00.000-07:00

yeah.. today is april fool.. not so fun also eh this year's april fool.. i didnt fool anyone i think.. see i am sooo angelic? =p
in school, yeogeash did something to mr.lee and he almost gave her a 9 dimerits! just a very small incident nia.. okay, here goes;
yeogeash: sir, your shoelace is untied la sir.
sir: *looked down*
yeogeash: april fool!
sir: i wasn't looking at my shoe, i was looking at the floor. =.='

so stupid right? haha.. and and.. we all thought yeogeash gave him the envelope! that one maybe la.. 9 dimerits only make sense.. hehe..

this sunday went to 'cheng beng'.. the weather is so 'cold' man.. i wonder why people wanna follow the crowd all go at the same time till traffic jam.. and its not fun at all.. =( but what to do.. its good.. haha.. my uncle gave me angpao somemore k.. so its good.. =p

i want to talk about this. though its real sensitive.. but oh well..
see, some people just don't get it u see.. they just think that whatever they're doing is right. well, different people have different points of view.. that i agree.. but sometimes, they would just judge things without even knowing the root to it. and sometimes people have a different point of view of 'backstabbing' too.. to me, its just, talking behind some one else's back without their knowledge and gang up with those whom hate them and fucking shooting that particular person with god knows what kinda usage of words used. sometimes people saying things behind some one else's back but it isnt call backstabbing.. well.. to me only maybe.. its like, maybe yeah saying bad things but its not practically didn't care for that person's feeling k.. its like, agreeing with someone else's that its a negative attitude for one to do so.. so people would just want that him/her to understand it and make it as a life lesson.. learn from it than just whooping around thinking negatively; he/she backstabbed me! oh i freaking hate that bitch! he/she is effin two-faced. something like that.. maybe this thing is sensitive thats why nobody is willing to speak out the truth. to that person they're talking about. it's not that easy k.. it might hurt one's feeling and this can leads to arguements.. like what i said earlier in my earlier post if u ever read. hmm~ worse still, arguements are still ok.. what if fights? and and here goes the 'i don't need a friend like u anymore!' that sort of thing.. yeah.. why am i saying this?? it's because i admit i might be a bad person doing it.. i admit.. so what?? like what the hell?? who doesn't? don't freakin' act as innocent and angelic as u are and then not thinking of how would other's feel when U say about that particular person?? come on.. feelings do tell.. if u don't like this feeling, then stop doing it to others. thats what i gotta say.. hope that its not too harsh nor offensive.. this doesn't mean i am hating those who do this to me.. i never hate these people.. its because, we're all humans.. we can't help feeling this way right?? so think about it. and i am saying because i care.. if not, why would i waste my time even bother talking about it?? caring for it?? i rather use my time go and do something else right?? like chit chatting..gossipping.. etc etc.. thats all i can say ler.. if u people still don't get it then u can come to me personally.. i won't offend u seriously.. someone has to do it somehow.. or as i say, it will lead to arguements, etc... and by that time, its too late.. but its never to late to be sorry.. anyways, i dont seems to bother so much now.. i am also used to it already.. i wonder why some people just like to act in front of other people just because u want to get attention; or or make that someone likes u.. its so damn unnatural.. but if thats the way u are then i cant shut up.. but its not.. people do change i know.. i guess i just need to get used to it and accept it as a part of life! =]

today has been kinda bad.. and i salute myself for it.. haha! first time didn't message 'him' the whole day.. its really hard though but i want to see if he would even think to message me? its weird huh how things come and go sometimes.. when u have it, u don't care to say hi. but when u lose it.. its hard to say goodbye.. thats life.. haha.. so many principles in life man.. i am learning.. u are learning.. everyone is learning.. so its ok for us to make mistakes sometimes.. we just ought to learn from it.. and i am willing to forgive anyone now.. haha.. cause it seems like nothing to me ler.. unless u really do something that i cannot obviously forgive.. then its biggie.. =p
18th of april faster come! =] <3>

Mariah Carey-I Still Believe

You look in my eyes
And I get emotional inside
I know it's crazy
But you still can touch my heart
And after all this time
You'd think that I
Wouldn't feel the same
But time melts into nothing
And nothing's changed

CHORUS:
I still believe
Someday you and me
Will find ourselves in love again
I have a dream
Someday you and me
Will find ourselves in love again

Each day of my life
I'm filled with all the joy I could find
You know that I
I'm not the desperate type
If theres one spark of hope
Left in my grasp
I'll be holding it with both hands
It's worth the risk of burning
To have a second chance

No, no, no, no, no, no
I need you baby
I still believe that we can be together
If we believe that true love never has to end
Then we must know that we will love again

CHORUS (x2)
I still believe
Someday you and me
Will find ourselves in love again
I had a dream
Someday you and me
Will find ourselves in love again

and by the way ze, although i like emo rated songs, i am not as emo as u are! =p

2008-03-29T05:45:00.000-07:00

this seriously gotta stop. or else my mind is gonna blow. yeahh.. i actually being a stalker! and i tried to stop stalking people.. but i just cant.. i told ze that i am one.. cause she said she is stalking people pulak.. but then, i cant help being one.. just too curious.. yet i wished i dint stalk in the first place.. seeing things that are hurtful and reading things that are hurtful is just so...........*speechless* sigh~ pictures do mean more than a thousand words.. its really true..i 100% agrees with it.. sometimes even words kills! plus pictures? like what the hell? haihs... nevermind that already. i've had it. sighness....

nothing much happened these few days.. i guess thats all for now.. reading people's blog can actually know that person more ya know.. its like, can know more things ler.. but sometimes not so clear.. at least better than not saying out mer.. its really suffering keeping everything inside.. please learn to say out.. maybe not to me.. but to anyone u feel like telling.. =]
or or doing something that can release your tension k.. go outing and etc.. i see something earlier.. some words that kills.. and i dont even know that particular person.. weird eh? but that person wrote something that has gotta do with some person i care about.. haha.. humans.. oh well.. nothing already i guess.. tata for now.. =]

2008-03-27T08:20:00.000-07:00

babyface-everytime i close my eyes

Girl, it's been a long, long time comin', yes it has
But I, I know that it's been worth the wait, yeah
It feels like springtime in winter
It feels like Christmas in June
It feels like heaven has opened up its gates for me and you

(Chorus)
Every time I close my eyes
I thank the Lord that I've got you
And you've got me too
And every time I think of it
I pinch myself 'cos I don't believe it's true
That someone like you loves me too

Girl, I think that you're truly somethin', yes you are
And you're every bit of a dream come true, yes you are
With you baby, it never rains and it's no wonder
Sun always shines when I'm near you
It's just a blessing that I have found somebody like you

(Chorus)

To think of all the nights I've cried myself to sleep
You really ought to know how much you mean to me
It's only right that you'll be in my life
Right here with me, oh baby, baby, yeah

(Chorus)

its true my friend.

2008-03-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

yup. its true alright. ze yin said something about communication.. the words spoken.. its very true.. i 100% agree with it.. people just don't realise it.. u know? its like.. somebody is saying about something and another person walked by and over heard the conversation and curious to know about it but then they're all like so secretive and act like nothing ever happened at all. damn. that hurts. and also, when someone is kinda down and all, someone else would just come by and say something which is really rude and didnt even think of that particular person's feelings.. u might hurt someone k.. why people just dont realise it? well, i dont blame those who dont. just saying whatever u want and dont care about other's feelings is like....poking a needle into their heart?? or worse still, stabbing it with a sharp knife... wont be so terrible kua.. hmmm~
and and, when that someone just shout at u or being rude to u, u would definitely feel hurt right? no matter u're in a good mood or what.. but still.. caring for others means alot to them. especially when that person is somebody close to you.. or or u care for them alot and etc... i can cry right at that moment wan k.. but of course wouldnt la.. its so embarrassing! keeping inside and let it all out at night lo.. its the best way.. i obviously dont want my mom to find out about anything anymore.. but that time i really cant stand it anymore.. i got slapped and hit and everything.. it hurts too when someone u love doing this to u yet they dont understand what u are feeling deep inside but just knowing how to put all the blame on you and thinking that they are right and not thinking at ur point of view.. its so sad u know?
so some advice to people reading this, would u please think of other's feelings before saying something or doing something? be more thoughtful as they will repay the same to u.. god bless..=]

still waiting for his message.. he said he would message me after off-lining.. but still.. none.. =(
its been an hour already.. its okay la.. maybe he is resting already? must think positive! ^^ i love u.
some people said there are girls chasing after him. is that true?? but i have faith in him. he will stand a chance.. at least one.. i know u still care.. =] <3

-nights-

weird

2008-03-26T07:54:00.000-07:00

nowadays, i realise, ppl are having more and more problems.. i wonder why.. stupid demons.. gah..
well.. my fren has her own problems too.. sometimes ppl dint wanna say things out is because we afraid that we might hurt someone else's feelings or its hard to sound out or its hard to explain to ppl.. so i hope ppl would understand this.. its not i dun trust anyone or anything ler.. its nothing secretive anyway.. hmm~ its real complicating ler..

last night he remembered! was so so happy k.. if he's happy and healthy and smile always i would be too.. =]
lalala~
<3
well.. thats all i guess.. happpy birthday ariel! ^^ god bless..

lazy bumps

2008-03-25T06:51:00.000-07:00

yes. i admit. i am getting lazier and lazier as days goes by.. i wonder why.. i must change this bad attitude already! would someone please threaten me?? oh god. this has gotta end if i wanna score well for my next exam.. and i pray to god that there's no more failing subjects for him.. i pray hard to you oh lord.. bless him.. =]

MPO is coming! but i aint going.. sigh~
so why must care wor.. haha! just now was telling cynthia how much i miss shopping! so we wanna go shopping this weekend when they're all in MPO.. hehe.. at least we're both doing smtg mer... and moral's folio due date is coming.. and also other assignments.. or shud i say.. work? xD nvm... lol.. and then.. what else?? nothing to say de ler.. and i'm glad i wished him already.. hehe.. and he remembered.. but no reply.. oh well.. time takes its toll right? so just gotta wait.. xD
still need to finish sejarah's latihan.. tmr she wanna see it.. hmmm..

-nights-

flag day + bee stung day. ==

2008-03-23T07:02:00.001-07:00

yesterday was so unlucky man.. i went to flag day and got stung by a bee.. sigh~ then around nine o'clock, we were tired and decided to sit beside gurney plaza.. hehe.. so early.. thats why the stalls not yet open.. but theres a group of aunties and uncles dancing! yeah. dancing.. lol.. they were awesome i tell you. they can actually remember every single step in just a few tries.. hehe.. cool huh? and they're doing 'line dancing'.. =] we all were so amazed by them so we stood up and dance with them too! haha! keng ler.. but then luckily not much people were there le.. =p or else paiseh ka beh si.. cause dunno how the step is.. hehe.. then around 9.30am they finished de.. then they walked towards out direction and donated some money to our tins! hahaha! so kind la.. then they say that we are VERY patient to sit and wait for their dance to finish. guess what? we didn't wait for them k.. we're just tired so we sat there.. and they were like, 'oh really?? so this is a bonus for u girls la is it?' haha! and we said, yeah! xD
so fun la.. then theres this uncle came and chat with us.. he is so friendly.. and we chatted for half an hour.. =p
around ten gurney plaza finally open the door.. =p
so we went in to find food! xD we were all so hungry k.. so we walked around wandering.. dunno what to eat yet.. hehe.. so we all decided to go up to chopper board since not all shops are opened yet. before getting up to the 4th floor, we all went to pdi for awhile.. it was my idea again.. =p
then went to eat.. hehe.. i ordered gong poh chicken rice and forgotten my teeth cannot chew.. ==' so of course la.. i finished the slowest.. haha.. jing, cyn and phing ate ice-cream and black pepper chicken rice.. pei ying didn't eat.. so i force her to share with me.. haha! pei ying u are way thinner than me! remember the nurse said u're UNDER weight?? xD (so eat more!)
let me see.. then we all wanna buy the same rubber band for our hair.. so we went to maggie T. and yeah end up didn't buy.. cause of me also.. =( then went to bella.. my idea again.. and saw his sister! she is so pretty! serious. =] she saw that i was peeping at her i think.. dunno la.. then we went down.. look around.. and pei ying went back de.. so left me, phing, cyn and jing lo.. walk walk then me and jing went back de.. go to HQ and give back the tin.. then later she went back.. leave me there alone.. then phing and cyn came pulak.. ken min fetch them to HQ from gurney.. so ma follow his car lo.. he fetched me to tuition.. then at night was suppose to go to Ignite.. due to some reasons, i didn't go.. so ma stay in my gramma's house lo.. then suddenly had high fever! felt so uncomfortable and weak.. how i wish he was by my side that time.. nevermind ler.. at least he showed he care.. and that very same day, he called me by my name TWICE. yeah, twice.. i felt so sad.. i dunno why.. but i do! first time was when i called him sobbing.. but kept quiet.. silently sobbing.. then later on is through message.. wonder what is wrong with me.. hmmm~ well.. forget it anyway.. went to the doctor.. after my gramma consoled my mom to bring me.. or else she said aiya no need la.. what kind of mother is this la? then went to check.. doctor says its kinda serious ler.. bee stung k.. 101 degrees he said.. my fever.. i think.. hmmm~ then finger swollen till now.. then gotta eat 4 medicine! eww~ haihs.. then put some sort of cream on my finger.. then went to bed.. hmmm~ still couldn't sleep after eating the medicine.. wonder why.. oh well.. i guess thats all for today.. 2days to go.. hmmm~ night night people! have a sweet dream..

-people says that loving someone is more suffering than being loved by someone [but i feel that vice versa is always the best..praying hard..<3-

babe i love you!!

2008-03-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

i felt so bad.. babe i love u so much..
i cant lose u..
so sorry for everything i've done..
i know its too late..
i didnt know..
how to tell u how i feel?
how to tell u that i was so sorry about what happened?
all i want to say is, i still love u alot.. and u know that..

hmm~

2008-03-20T05:58:00.000-07:00

so, he went with C. ok la then.. sometimes felt so stupid.. why go think so much? tsk tsk.. but still.. right.. hmm.. my god i miss him like hell.. =p <3

just another day in.

2008-03-20T05:36:00.000-07:00

right. i want to be in qb now.. haha.. due to some reasons.. but a apart of me is afraid to even be there.. what if i see him? what if he sees me? what am i gonna do? must i go alone? or with someone else? a guy? a girl? what if i see something i dun wanna see? will that be worse? i dunno why.. all the pictures are deleted. what did i do wrong again? or i didn't do a single thing?? my life.. full with question marks.. hmm.. i kept wondering~
what can i do babe?? are u mad? by not replying ?? i cant help it.. sorry for saying that.. saying something u duwan to hear? or u want to hear? or u have no more feelings?? do u still care?? i'm going mad seriously.. i can't help being curious! thats me.. lalala~ but then, i think again.. is this the reason that make our ending today?? like this? maybe huh? so..i'm just gonna give him the space he should have.. i can't practically tying him right.. haha.. so be it. oh no, homework unfinished. DEAD..
hmm~ guess thats all for today..

-5 more days. do u remember?-

<3

dentist~ argh!

2008-03-19T08:47:00.000-07:00

well well.. hmmm~ today is such a painful day for me.. xD
went to dentist appointment le.. tighten my braces today.. it was awfully painful.. ergh~
some more my teeth grows! xD wisdom tooth people says.. oh well.. guess i'm old de.. hehehe..
and after that i went back home.. straight away go to sleep to endure the pain.. while i was asleep, KH missed call me pulak..=.=' then i woke up.. it was 6.53pm already! and i have tuition at 7pm! hmm! then was rushing like hell.. xD then i was so late and when i reached time sir was like.. ha.. late de.. hehe.. xp
and yea, at school today.. nothing much happened.. i-lyn's dad birthday today.. so she made him a planner.. and have lots of pictures.. it was pretty nice.. she so free la.. hehe.. if my dad's birthday i wont go make such things de lo.. as if la he will appreciate.. hmm.. and after dentist appointment, my mom fetch me back.. couldn't eat.. so go home lo.. on the way home, pass alot of place.. reminds me of him.. pass the church he used to go to.. he told me before beside ymca there.. hehe.. dunno correct anot.. and etc.. i missed him so much.. more and more each day perhaps.. 6 more days to go~ hmmm~ so fast eh? so fast yet so slow.. so near yet so far.. distance doesn't exist in love anyway.. oh god.. what can i do?? to make him understand?? i want to let him know.. how sorry i was.. how much i want us to have a chance.. i guess he knew.. just that now is not the time yet.. but i will be patient.. as love is kind and patient.. x]

i'll give my all, tonight..
to have one kiss with u..
i'd risk my life..
to feel.. your body next to mine..
cause i cant go on..
living in the memory of our song
i'd give my all
for your love tonight.....

baby can you feel me
imagining i'm looking in your eyes
i can see you clearly
vividly emblazoned in my mind
and yet you're so far
like a distant star
i'm wishing on tonight...

-i miss u <3>

my first life story! xD

2008-03-18T06:24:00.000-07:00

well, this is it i guess.. the blog of mine that can be viewed by people! xD
ahh~ so many things to say.. but where to start?? hmmm~
start with school today.. hehe.. during moral, we learned about 'kasih sayang' le..
cool right? i mean, our teacher ask, what is the difference between 'cinta' and 'sayang' ?
i know what is the difference but how to explain it? hmmm~
then my thoughts was changed from the question marks to him. yes. him. u guys that dunno me that well must be curious who is him anyway? he is a very special person to me.. though i knew him for less than a year, but he means alot to me.. i guess i must be more understanding, more mature, tolerate more, be more patient etc.. i dint know i was THAT bad till 'hole' told me.. another mysterious person eh? xD
i felt so guilty thinking of the way i treated him.. i want to turn back the clock.. and wish i appreciate him more back then.. but.. do i have a chance?? i don't want to bother him now.. so i guess i will only talk about it to him after his major exam.. so now i wish him all the best.. and pray for him every night.. thats the least i could do.. i wish he knew.. how i feel for him still.. no change in me.. hmmm~ i wrote a little something earlier.. it might be bad but.....oh well... i'm just gonna typed it out.. x]]

Day after day
as time pass away,
Is our love fading away?
Please don't ask IF it's fading away,
Cause my answer would definitely be NO WAY..
Now what I can do is to only pray
Pray and ask God for the upcoming day
Dear, please let my dream come true..
As you're the only one could make it come true..
As I will wait for the upcoming day! x]

What if tomorrow never comes?
Will u be by my side??
You said when you're about to die,
You hoped that I am the one holding your hand and dies..
What if I never get to see you again?
Would you come by and say your goodbye?
Or would you just walk away without looking back?
Would u come see me if I'm sick?
If yes, I would never wanna recover..
Would you call up when I need you?
If yes, I would hold onto my phone 24/7
I can't imagine my life without you..
All I want to say is, i miss you babe..

how was it how was it?? xD
i seriously missed him.. i regretted for all that I've done.. so now hoped that everything would be okay after his exam.. i wish he knew.. i changed alot de.. after all this.. i really do.. ><
today, in school.. she did it again! hurt my feelings abit.. i wonder why some people just would change just because to please their best friend.. i am not being specific here k.. just that i want to sound out how i feel.. sigh~ forget about that.. really sensitive issue here! heh.
i truly appreciate all my friends around.. no matter what wrong they've done.. or i've done.. we'll always learn to forgive and forget.. that is what i am so glad about us.. although we arent like one whole big gang anymore.. we still communicate well.. still strong with it.. just sometimes maybe some of us will feel left out or abandoned or something.. i feel bad for some of my friends whom felt it.. although they dint say it out, i can obviously see it through their expressions.. and maybe the other friend doing the wrong thing but they just dont realise it.. its okay though.. cause we always forgive and forget.. x]
sometimes when we feel like saying it out to them, we dunno how to sound out.. and even if we do.. both parties would be sad.. or even worse, leads to arguements! this is what i am afraid of most.. and then.. everyone would stop talking to each other de.. this is SAD..haihs..
anyway, here's another lousy poem.. xD

u might kick me in the ass
u might slap me on the face
u might shout til i cry
u might shoot me with your words
u might curse me to your heart
u might abandoned me all alone
u might ignore all my concern
u might be rude to me
u might even make me cry
u might blame me for certain matter
u might not care about me
u might never even call when you're far
u might messed up my most important date
u might hurt my feelings
u might backstabb me
u might hate me tonight
u might forget me tomorrow
no matter what it is
let's just learn to forgive and forget
or we all may live with regret.

love u all my dear friends! x]]