half of me is really happy.. but partly, ******
sigh.. so conclusion? mixed up.. i don't hope my next 50 years to come eh life will be like this. i really don't hope.
well.. basically.. *breathes in* i am stupid. i don't know why but, i am stupid. i feel stupid seriously.. ah well.. it is just a feeling.. but who cares right.. um, well, i don't know.. for now, i just want to work and forget everything.. it's best like this.. i feel left out.. =/
i shouldn't be like this. be strong! God will always stay with me right? =)
hope so... i must be tough always.. nobody will help me if I'm in trouble.. so must be real tough i tell myself.. everything, inside. safe and sound. voila! locked air-tight.

oh phing, don't be too hard on yourself.. cheer up k? i know its hard but, try to look on the bright side.. nobody can ever help u if u like this k? =]
love u ppl..





nobody loves me =/

LUCKY-Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

okay.... continuing my post from yesterday..
my mom was nagging..so yeah.. first of all, HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN WEI YEN!! if you're reading this. =]
i highlighted it with purple. she likes this colour.. i think.. well that's what Ze told me.

some facts i know about WEI YEN .
she is a RED skirt in our school.. aherm.. she's not actually a skirt.. haha.. she's a prefect.. she joins the ed-board and debate.. she's a really nice person and same like any other 16-year-old who does gossips about guys and bla bla bla.. well i guess that's normal =p
she's also a bookworm. aherm. storybooks. hehe.. just like I-Lyn =p
but I-Lyn is more CORRUPTED Haha!

*she is so going to kill me*

moving on..erm.. what did i wanna say?? i can't remember.. was interrupted by my brother..
oh well..
forget it.. hmm~ gotta go de ler......byes
and

*HAPPY SWEEETTT SIXTEEN WEI YEN*

Part 1

i should be thankful that i am still alive, still have a shelter, still have good food and nice clothes to wear. i should be thankful i have fine body parts, a cell phone to use, a computer and a tv to entertain me. i should be thankful that i am not an orphan, or simply a person which has only few months to live. i should be thankful that i have emotions. i should be thankful that have my friends there for me. i should be thankful me. i should be thankful that i am able to write, to do so m i still have people to celebrate my birthdays withany things other people in this world cannot do. i should be thankful that i was blessed with a family, friends and people in my life. i should be thankful that i am not a person u will forget after meeting me yesterday. i should be thankful that there are still people who cares for me.. LOVES me.. concern about me. etc... i am sorry that i have negative thoughts all this while. but i never blame myself for thinking this way. know why? that is because, when a person is lonely, has got nothing to do, has gone through failures, and i mean real bad ones, could really really lose their self-confidence... so whenever u see someone having their bad times, please don't be like my mom who will surely say how stupid they are and etc.. lifes today cannot be compared with lifes yesterdays..that's because in different eras, we'll face different difficulties.. so to people who likes to say things like, u know ar, u all are so lucky nowadays, last time ar, we use to go through tougher times, worse LIFE than you are today.
take back your words. live life realistically please. as there are lots of things that people will go through..tougher than even back then.. though your times might be less fortunate, less luxury, but think again, the more luxury we are, the more competition, the more envy, the more whatsoever reasons.. and also, the 'kiasu' [scared lose]-direct translation from hokkien-we are.. if u people don't believe me, go and see georgians' magazine year 2007. they even do research on how kiasu we georgians are.. and boy, u will know when u see those answers they gave.. their ratings are, 10/10 mostly.. haha.. what to do...? we have to have this spirit in our blood.. or else, just get married and stop studying, don't need such high aimings in life anymore.. haha.. that's what my mom always says.... but its true though.. =]

Part 2

a part of me was thinking, hey, u're such a loser u know?
yes i know and i admit i am.. and how should i overcome this? avoiding my not-so-bright-self with others.. not mixing with people that i cared for? etc etc.. i am very as in VERY negative type of person....sigh..so, what should i be? a girl to always avoid people? i don't know...i am still thinking..trying to make decisions.. a new resolution for my form 5.. all i need is some courage from people around me.. but how are they gonna do it? i need some actions, some advice, some some words filled with confident for me to stay upstraight again..i am now like a wilting plant.. so someone, anyone, please pour down some water to moisture my almost dying body? just some drops will do.. just some dropss.... i am dying of this agony.. slowly dying.. i am too young to die.. so someone please? sigh.. enlighten me.. i am very vulnerable i guess..haha!
oh, working is fun.. except the tiring part and the part where i meet RUDE customers.. they can be really really selfish, no manners at times.. gosh i hate rude people.. =.='
i want to blog more after so long.. but too bad.. my mom wants to go out already..
so til next time =]
oh yea.. i was planning to do something.. hehe.. my friend that knows about this said that i am like gonna go away to a very far place and never comes back =.='
oh well.. tyll people.. thanks for the time reading this.. buhbyes! =]


HAPPY HOLIDAYS~!
Christmas is coming!! i am SO SO excited!! haha...like a kiddo eh? =]

hehe.. still having my wonders......which part of me should i be choosing?? O.O a huge question mark