sensitive issues alert!

Part 1

This is probably a sad and joyful moments at the same time. Why sad? Why joyful? Well probably because everyone is leaving elsewhere and things aren't the same anymore.. I did wondered, is it because of humans' doing or is it because of one's feeling inside? i seriously don't know. It kept me awake most of the times.. I'm serious.. Sad memories make me hard to sleep. Problems too.. Sad isn't it? this is not called insomnia. I think. sometimes it is the human's brain that makes us this way. you see, sometimes friends do talk about each other. I admit. everyone does. then how did things become so complicated? as in, misunderstandings happen. i told her, I want peace. I don't want misunderstandings anymore! What to do? Do good deeds. We believe in karma. yes. Karma. But the past? We cannot simply neglect them, can we? think about it. How things came up. look on the other sides of things. It might be unchangeable.. but at least. It is once there. We can choose to look it at the other way. maybe just maybe we need to think further..but at the end of the day, you will see that, it is all worthy. Why give hope, then take it away? or shall I say, leave it unacknowledged? haha. anyway, it can't be only a person's fault. It has got to be two. or probably three? or probably provocation? that's a really really powerful poison? hmmm~ nevermind. whatever it is. I'm not the type that will go up to somebody and ask him/her directly. because I know. I will never get an answer. I-Lyn melt my heart away and I do feel like crying to her that night. but some part of me pulled me off. Kept telling myself its best to keep it alone. or twosome. =] how nice if we can be like every chinese new year? whole family members/ friends members sitting down toasting and updating and can just talk about anything. Maybe and just maybe some of us do. but, its amongst oneself. I guess. haha. I'm okay but it hurts me when there is a sobber. really. I felt like towards the line and asked for an explanation. haha. it would be hilarious. like I said, no point doing so. no answer. Well can only wish for things to be normal before new year. Somebody has to do something. Why not me? If I really care. But do You care? It really plays in my mind. every night.