i am back! haha.. just in time to tell about the hokkien songs i like.. sung by Selina and Lee Hom. =]
hehe nice k? don't know the title. aiya, next time ask Pei Ying.. oh yea Pei Ying! Ke Au! haha..
ok.. the song so nice.. the MV.. i got to admit Selina looks cute and damn feminine.. thanks to the hairstyle and dress =]
currently reading I-lyn's blog also. haiyo always got lots of comments to say eh. but the blog so long de by the end of it, poof! forget everything. =/
sorry ya Lyn =p
oh i was reading Ze's blog also.. =.=' I know.. so many thing to read.. haha.. who ask me to lazy on9? =]
its good that Ze put her friends link.. cos the blogs i read are usually somewhat there also. hehe take advantage pulak. =p
and i no time to read phing, rize, ben, etc etc person eh blogg de.. thanks to my limited time and i didn't bathe yet =/
oh yea! i went for BBQ. and came back sorethroat. hmph. so song song go eat mana tau come back sorethroat pulak.
throat swollen like what nee.. haihh.. i swear i ate a little bit nia!! =/
haiya.. oh Pei Ying if u're reading this, please la let me read ur blog......see the blogskin also cannot die right??? though i don't know how to read mandarin. hmmm~ see ur cute eh pics haha~


CHRISTMAS IS COMING! HAHAHA... =P

half of me is really happy.. but partly, ******
sigh.. so conclusion? mixed up.. i don't hope my next 50 years to come eh life will be like this. i really don't hope.
well.. basically.. *breathes in* i am stupid. i don't know why but, i am stupid. i feel stupid seriously.. ah well.. it is just a feeling.. but who cares right.. um, well, i don't know.. for now, i just want to work and forget everything.. it's best like this.. i feel left out.. =/
i shouldn't be like this. be strong! God will always stay with me right? =)
hope so... i must be tough always.. nobody will help me if I'm in trouble.. so must be real tough i tell myself.. everything, inside. safe and sound. voila! locked air-tight.

oh phing, don't be too hard on yourself.. cheer up k? i know its hard but, try to look on the bright side.. nobody can ever help u if u like this k? =]
love u ppl..





nobody loves me =/

LUCKY-Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

okay.... continuing my post from yesterday..
my mom was nagging..so yeah.. first of all, HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN WEI YEN!! if you're reading this. =]
i highlighted it with purple. she likes this colour.. i think.. well that's what Ze told me.

some facts i know about WEI YEN .
she is a RED skirt in our school.. aherm.. she's not actually a skirt.. haha.. she's a prefect.. she joins the ed-board and debate.. she's a really nice person and same like any other 16-year-old who does gossips about guys and bla bla bla.. well i guess that's normal =p
she's also a bookworm. aherm. storybooks. hehe.. just like I-Lyn =p
but I-Lyn is more CORRUPTED Haha!

*she is so going to kill me*

moving on..erm.. what did i wanna say?? i can't remember.. was interrupted by my brother..
oh well..
forget it.. hmm~ gotta go de ler......byes
and

*HAPPY SWEEETTT SIXTEEN WEI YEN*

Part 1

i should be thankful that i am still alive, still have a shelter, still have good food and nice clothes to wear. i should be thankful i have fine body parts, a cell phone to use, a computer and a tv to entertain me. i should be thankful that i am not an orphan, or simply a person which has only few months to live. i should be thankful that i have emotions. i should be thankful that have my friends there for me. i should be thankful me. i should be thankful that i am able to write, to do so m i still have people to celebrate my birthdays withany things other people in this world cannot do. i should be thankful that i was blessed with a family, friends and people in my life. i should be thankful that i am not a person u will forget after meeting me yesterday. i should be thankful that there are still people who cares for me.. LOVES me.. concern about me. etc... i am sorry that i have negative thoughts all this while. but i never blame myself for thinking this way. know why? that is because, when a person is lonely, has got nothing to do, has gone through failures, and i mean real bad ones, could really really lose their self-confidence... so whenever u see someone having their bad times, please don't be like my mom who will surely say how stupid they are and etc.. lifes today cannot be compared with lifes yesterdays..that's because in different eras, we'll face different difficulties.. so to people who likes to say things like, u know ar, u all are so lucky nowadays, last time ar, we use to go through tougher times, worse LIFE than you are today.
take back your words. live life realistically please. as there are lots of things that people will go through..tougher than even back then.. though your times might be less fortunate, less luxury, but think again, the more luxury we are, the more competition, the more envy, the more whatsoever reasons.. and also, the 'kiasu' [scared lose]-direct translation from hokkien-we are.. if u people don't believe me, go and see georgians' magazine year 2007. they even do research on how kiasu we georgians are.. and boy, u will know when u see those answers they gave.. their ratings are, 10/10 mostly.. haha.. what to do...? we have to have this spirit in our blood.. or else, just get married and stop studying, don't need such high aimings in life anymore.. haha.. that's what my mom always says.... but its true though.. =]

Part 2

a part of me was thinking, hey, u're such a loser u know?
yes i know and i admit i am.. and how should i overcome this? avoiding my not-so-bright-self with others.. not mixing with people that i cared for? etc etc.. i am very as in VERY negative type of person....sigh..so, what should i be? a girl to always avoid people? i don't know...i am still thinking..trying to make decisions.. a new resolution for my form 5.. all i need is some courage from people around me.. but how are they gonna do it? i need some actions, some advice, some some words filled with confident for me to stay upstraight again..i am now like a wilting plant.. so someone, anyone, please pour down some water to moisture my almost dying body? just some drops will do.. just some dropss.... i am dying of this agony.. slowly dying.. i am too young to die.. so someone please? sigh.. enlighten me.. i am very vulnerable i guess..haha!
oh, working is fun.. except the tiring part and the part where i meet RUDE customers.. they can be really really selfish, no manners at times.. gosh i hate rude people.. =.='
i want to blog more after so long.. but too bad.. my mom wants to go out already..
so til next time =]
oh yea.. i was planning to do something.. hehe.. my friend that knows about this said that i am like gonna go away to a very far place and never comes back =.='
oh well.. tyll people.. thanks for the time reading this.. buhbyes! =]


HAPPY HOLIDAYS~!
Christmas is coming!! i am SO SO excited!! haha...like a kiddo eh? =]

hehe.. still having my wonders......which part of me should i be choosing?? O.O a huge question mark

i have a secret. but to some of them it's not a secret.. lol nvm.. =D

exams are coming up.. i'm sure everyone's tensed, having exam fever and so on.. but why oh WHY am i not afraid?? at all! gah, as usual, i will be the 'smartest' among all.. =] that's what my mom says and its so true though.. compare.. haihs.. whatever la.. hmm.. Pei Ying and I-lyn's birthday just ended! it was fun.. will upload some pictures sooon. =]
i love outing with them all.. so so nice!! i lovee my friends ler.. <3>
serious... =.='
without a lot of people and a lot of things i can die.. but, with some people and some things a i can die too. haha! swt me! =p
tomorrow's my darling KONG KONG's birthday! happy birthday Kong Kong! as if he would read this =.=' but oh well.. i lovee him a lot a lot.. hehe..
yesterday was my uncle's birthday.. the youngest one.. =p
i miss him though after he went to KL to further his studies.. his gf is sweet.. and pretty =]
i miss calling him 'tua pooi'
xD
he shall kill me if he sees this O.O
haha!
that's all i guess.. =]

Cyn-i wanna go ur hse!
Lyn-i wanna write ur book some more! =] memories. and also the preface stuff haven done yet.
sorry ya the other day super sleepy de so cant do.. ><
Ze- u still have band practice during hols???
Jing- dont let me see u and Mr. Teh in anywhere or i shall perli u teruk teruk! xD O=]
Rize- i miss u too de! =/
Carmen-u dont look like a Lohan =.='
Pei ying- i haven seen Narnia yet.. perhaps u should ask the person with super banyak CD. like ms KOH =] eh u go to that Nicole eh bday party? haha
Gor-when bowling? xD
Ah Hao-say wanna chia me when ar? =p
Eunice- are u single still or what? hmm~
Tze Ni- ur facebook's pic look like ur leg grew longer..xD
Phing- happy dating! ^^
myself-start studying...............=/

confusion.....................
haihs haihs haihs...
mood-less
exams...
homework....
blahs.
what am i saying?
CRAP.
chaos--

i am so tired today.. running here and there.. i bet some of my classmates too.. pity them.. i really hope the participants will appreciate our hard work. moreover, our darling HM brought forward the date.. that's like.. WT... !
whatever laaa..
don't think too much.. lol
well, let's see.. what to write ar? hmm i'm lost. =/
che! when are u coming back? tell me a specific date k? =]
jia you 4 Aked! we can do it! xD

gifts.

ahhh~
when did i last updated?
hmm..
went to Gurney today.. with Pei Ying and Ze Yin.. yes, to buy presents.. this month and starting of next month is when we all are BROKE. i am serious people.. and all close friends so...yeah...gifts..
everyone likes gifts don't they? but do they actually know why people give them? and the importance of gifts? it is the time when u show appreciation to people you love, care for, concern, sharing their part of life with you because they too, love u.
receiving and giving also meant, the quality. yes, i mean Quality. let me get this straight.. no matter what form the gift it is in.. it is still from the one u care.. u love.. etc etc.. so no matter what the content is.. it's the heart that counts.. and the best gift in life a friend can give u is not, quantities, nor expensive gadgets nor cool stuff, blah or wrappers by professionals etc.. its the time they spend making it.. the time they spend choosing it.. the time they spend planning it.. the time they spend keeping money starving themselves, etc just to get u that gorgeous dream dress of yours or whatever stuff.. to those materialistic receivers, you might feel that this thing is darn cheap.. ntg worthful.. but do u think that everyone is as rich as you? have as much time as u? they have nothing better to do? they purposely spare that last probably 15 bucks just to get u a good book u love so much.. could they have spent on something they like.. i had this experience once.. well probably few times.. cant find the thing that i want to buy.. feeling so miserable going home.. i mean, i don't want to be sad.. know why? cos i cant get the thing my friend like so much.. and to see them happy, i will be happy too.. i love to see many many presents pile up together and having smiling faces on everyone's face lighten up with pretty pretty smile of theirs and go, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ___________! like that! a sound of joy.. appreciation.. love.. remembering that very special day.. and my dear loyal readers, be faithful.. be true to yourself and your friend...


and yeah.. i would like to get straight on something..i don't tell u things is maybe because i don't tell anyone at all? it's not that i don't trust u.. but do u tell me everything? do u, keep things from me? the answer is we both know.. so don't feel sad.. its nothing.. nobody here is not doubting ur trust.. everyone loves u.. i love u too my dear friend..

and if things don't turn out the right way.. then find the right corner and U-turn again.. i'm sure it is not end of the world right? cheers! =]

every happening is a gift in disguise<3

its already hurting doing this to me.
why u still wanna chop me into pieces when u already stab my heart? can u let me even die in peace? now i am not in peace. i am in pieces. i fucking hate u god. where are u when i need u? i swear i want u to take me away. now!!! to god knows where but here! take me away!!

tagged by ze yin

ONE WORD ANSWER

1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your significant other? trombonist
3. Your hair? tied
4. Your mother? tv-ing
5. Your father? somewhere
6. Your favorite thing? handphone
7. Your dream last night? errr..
8 Your favorite drink? water! =]
9. Your dream/goal? happiness
10. The room you’re in? living room
11. Your hobby? blogging
12. Your fear? lost
13. Where do you want to be in 6 year? hmmm~
14. What you’re not? happy
15. Muffins? yep!
16. One of your wish list items? happiness!
17. Where you grew up? penang
18. The last thing you did? texting
19. What are you wearing? clothes
20. Favorite gadget? handphone
21. Your pets? none
22. Your computer? acer
23. Your mood? down
24. Missing someone? loads
25. Your car? volkswagen! jkjk
26. Something you’re not wearing? necklace
27. Favorite store? anything
28. Like someone? =]
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When is the last time you laughed? =D
31. Last time you cried? last night..

i tag,..
YOU

happy doing

current mood-tired of everything
in-pei ying's hse
feeling-gloomy
craving for-a more jovial me
eager to-sleep and don't wake up and face reality
waiting for-a call from che
currently-lonely
need-love & money
dislike-people don't do as what they said (even though i am like that sometimes)
thank-my diary
hair-messy
head-ache
option-dead or alive
song-sentimental
instrument-piano/keyboard
gadgets-cell
food-chocs
color-grey
wear-his shirt
understanding-everyone around. his mom


we're stuck. or is it only me? God knows..
it's amazing how things turn out to be like this. no doubt. x]

don't cry because it's over
smile because it happened..

because i have loved life, i shall have no sorrow to die

expect nothing, live frugally on life

the good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge
[i sure hope i have the courage]

`believing you is like believing a bee.
`yesterday was history, today is a gift, tomorrow is a mystery.
`life is an echo of joy.
`appreciate today, pray hard for tomorrow.

ahhh.. it's been 10 days since i updated my blog.. what's up with me these days? sigh~ whatever it is, all i can say is, year 2008 is the worst year for me.. as far as i lived though. a lot of things happened.. i think i'd like to keep them unrevealed. i mean, no point of me pointing it out le.. it won't make differences anyway.. maybe things would be worse.. yeah, as how i'd expected it would be.. so, be it.


i am really tired le.. tired, exhausted of things and incident these days.. too much to write.. and lazy and no point of me doing it.
lalala~
all i can do now is, go on my day like any other day.. be miserable.. keep quiet and be patient whenever something happened to me that can stab me to death.. i know i am crapping, again. gah, whatever.


family: looks ok. but not very ok
friends: looks ok but not ok
love: complicated
money: pokai
studies: drain
brain: tangled
emotions: empty

birthday

yesterday i had fun. =] thanks to all my beloved friends for the presents u guys gave me... it's awesome man! i love all of it.. i seriously do.. ^^
and the card.. =D i love it so so much.. thanks guys.. u guys always have wonderful surprises.. =]
u people did made an effort brighten up my day.. and it turned out to be well..gah, can't write long already.. gotta go catch up with my work.. =] hugs.
i try to post some pictures of it.. but, my phone's camera damn lag.. so, haha.. and i don't own a camera.. well, i'll see what i can do.. tata!

i need to be more realistic.. i need to be tougher.. God help! who else should i seek? i can't think of a single mortal! gosh i am so doomed.. i need to calm down for around half a year.. stay cool.. i am thinking positively.. but i am afraid to face it.. what if it's the wrong answer given ? what will i do? i could die i swear.. i am afraid.. to face it.

tag

6 things I'm passionate about
-the
-things
-that
-i
-love
-most

6 things I say too often
-i love u
-shit la
-oh fuck
-omg really ar?
-yes?
-no?

6books I've read recently
-i
-cant
-remember
-any
-books
-seriously

6 things I learnt for the past year
-just be yourself
-tell the person u love, that u love them
-show ur love!
-don't give up hope
-treat people nice if u want to be treated the same way.
-be humble!

I Tag..
-phing
-lyn
-cyn
-joalin
-and
-you

band comp 2008

went to the stadium today.. with jing,and her *ahem*, mei yen, su jen, guat phing and ken min.. he was there too.. =] he looks cuter and cuter every time i see him.,O.o haha~! pardon me.. =p
the comp was awesome! jit sin got first as usual.. second was chung ling butterworth.. third was our school! SGGS! haha! happy! =p well, at least this year our school maintain right.. last year and this year got third placing.. hehehe.. will post the pictures soon.. =]

i felt so proud of myself today.. know why? 'cos... whole night I've been thinking.. hey girl, why should you make yourself so miserable huh? just because other girls talk to him and you're so sensitive over it.. you should be ashamed of yourself.. remember how u always say those chinese ed people being so self-centered and paranoid etc? and now u yourself being like this. tsk tsk... & & after much thoughts, I now am ok with it.. just some chit-chat only mer.. can't kill me right? =]
some more it's his classmates and close friends.. so it's ok.. and some of them even have bf already.. ahhh~ I think too much sometimes.. hope that the changes I've made can give us hope.. =] nothing is impossible right? =] be like Jing, she's in cloud 9 already.. she can't seems to stop smiling.. =D
good for her.. =] and be like Pei Ying, no worries.. hmm~ nope, or should i say be like Shannon? he said sometimes we ourselves make things complicated.. perhaps we should let some things be more, casual? basically, in short, don't think too much.. like I said, our brain is really something.. it can control your whole mind set about something.. so just relax.. don't pressure it too much sometimes.. =] I must learn to be less sensitive about things.. maybe if I have this thoughts much earlier, things wouldn't be like this......... sigh~ I tell myself, it's ok le.. now that I've realised it, it's never too late to change =] as the saying goes, better late than never right ? =]
and yeah, I miss him terribly.. I really do.. and I don't see anything wrong with it.. so just be it.. I miss him.. =] I totally utterly miss him. =D so what? don't be afraid to say it out.. be proud to let people know.. I have feelings, u have feelings, so does everyone! =]

well.. kl wasn't that fun.. i regretted i went.. never mind de lar.. came back also already.. sigh~ felt so empty.. real miserable.. but why? i myself don't even know what the heck is wrong with me.. then how to help myself? i hate myself.. more and more each day.. damn it.

random

ahhh~ a post before i head off to KL. now is 8.40am. =] don't know why automatically wake up this morning.. and the time is only 7.30am. haha.. craze! never mind.. my body is just the same like the master.. unpredictable.. =]
well.. i had a dream again.. hmm~ i am gonna keep it to myself this time.. i don't see any point of writing it down anyway.. hmmm~ how incredible.. our brain.. hmmm..
gtg...see ya ppl~

ATTENTION!

there's this carnival coming up called 'Bon Odori'
i'm sure many of you have been to bon odori before..
so, i am selling the coupons. yes, this year, all food and beverages need coupons! =]
and how to get them? from me of course! leave me comments if u want yea..
or call my hp if u have. =]
here's the details.

PENANG-BON ODORI CARNIVAL 2008
DATE: SATURDAY 19TH JULY 2008
TIME: 6.00PM TO 11.00PM
VENUE: ESPLANADE, PENANG
COUPONS: RM20 PER BOOK. [CAN SHARE WITH FRIENDS]
LEAVE COMMENTS IN MY COMMENTS BOX. THANKS.

initiative

sometimes, people tend to have no guts to do something.. or express their feelings to someone.. whom they love for years.. et cetera.. well, why shouldn't they? i mean, it's no use keeping your feelings to yourself right? but there's still risk and circumstances to be reconsider.. not all confession will be successful though. but if u never try, u never know right?? that's the thing.. but sometimes u are not tough enough to face the challenge.. so what are we to do? we can't practically pleased everyone right?? and even if we do, we will only end up hurting ourselves unknowingly.. tell it to a trusted friend would help a lot. but some people prefer to keep it to themselves. so, it depends on the individual.. just how do we overcome the problem.. hmmm~ feelings are the things that we human cannot control. so it's really tough for everyone of us.. no matter what it is, we still need to face them and live like normal days.. sigh~ a moment ago, i was feeling down.. real down.. and we all know what is the thing or who is the one that can only cheer us up.. bring us back to life again, do we? but what if this is one of the things that can't be fulfilled? are we just gonna end up suiciding?? or or crying?? or what...? i don't know. do u?? what i know is, i am a negative thinking kind of person.. i would do stupid things at times. so it's no biggie for me to see these things.. and i had weird weird dreams.. and the dream that i dreamed has something to do with the thing i am going through.. it's so cool right?? how powerful our mind is?? it can even control u when you're asleep! they just don't let u go.. then u ended up perspiring when you're awake due to the nightmare u just had. it's not a good feeling.. it is definitely not. out of a sudden i just want to go to some place calm.. away from this crazy place.. i just want to be alone.. for a moment.. but not forever.. i never wanna be alone forever.. it's scary.. just some time alone would be great.. free from this hectic place a bit.. unlike just now, i wasn't myself.. feeling so down, useless, stupid, pathetic, a burden to people around u.. et cetera.. but then again, when u are feeling like this, usually, people, would definitely think of negative thoughts about themselves, don't they?? but think again, there's another part of u hidden inside u can be real good.. real sweet.. real decent.. =] so, when u're at ur worst, think of the wonderful things about urself.. u can feel pretty good.. i know i am just good at saying things but real bad at doing it.. well, at least try. even if i can't, u people should try.. seriously.. don't be like me.. =] that's all for now i guess.. ----

it's been a few days already since i updated my bloggie.. so where should i start?? erm~
oh yea! i went skating with I-lyn, Guat Phing, Eunice and Cynthia(supposingly) but Cynthia came real late! and then ended up four person skated only.. i was terribly hungry already so i stopped and went for breakfast in Chopper Board.. haha.. skating was Fun. hehe.. what else?? hmm~ nothing much happened already i guess.. not in the mood to blog.. lol..

pictures pictures pictures!!

I-Lyn emo-ing.. xD

look at Ze.. *ngek ngek*


aww~ i like i like i loveee this!


Pei Ying arranged this! xD she loveeee sausages.. tsk tsk~


two psychos SS and love mr doggie.. lol.. ntg better to do..xD


top view..=p


bottom view..=p


i wasn't ready for that shot. =p


I-Lyn's eyes are closed.. O.o


tired de.. wanna zzz de.. =p


i know la u two love me.. but dun have to show it til like this ma.. xD

look at Ze Yin's eyes.. scary~

aww~ nice shot eh? ^^


from Ze Yin's mom.. hehe.. thank u aunty! =]



thick eyesbags.. =(

aww~ pretty isn't it?? ^.^


i did made 3 wishes.. =]


the photographer and me! i got a hole in my teeth.. =.=



a warm group picture! =]

pictures speak more than a thousand words..

thanks you guys!

24th of May 2008 has been one of the best day of my life~! thanks to mua beloved friends... x]]
*lotsa hugss and kisses*
they threw me a surprise advance birthday party! =D
aren't they the sweetest thing?? ^^ haha~ i can't help praising these people.. =p
oh oh Ze Yin and Mei Yen took some pictures.. =] will ask them to send them to me soon so i can post them up for everyone to see.. =]
so who are the angels that attended??
obviously myself (perasan-ing) =p and then my friends ; Carmen, I-Lyn, Mei Yen, Ze Yin, Pei Ying, Jing Min and Tze Ni! wait! plus the adorable Ah Kai.. hehe.. =p
okay, it started with Pei Ying and I go to Ze Yin's house.. Carmen and I-lyn was there.. I-lyn was the earliest.. ^^ then, we started cooking.. the spaghetti was cooked already earlier.. so we cook the sauce.. i was cutting the onion and garlic.. hehe.. then Jing came.. after that was Tze Ni.. she came after tuition.. then Mei Yen came after her guitar lesson.. hehe.. then we started to eat spaghetti and drink mushroom soup.. while eating, we watched 'Seed Of Chucky' .. hehe.. everyone was so scared.. except for Jing and I-Lyn obviously.. they were like, off the lights! haha.. and Mei Yen screams her head off thanks to me scaring her.. lalala~ =p
and then here's the fun bit, I-Lyn asked me to go and see something in Ze Yin's room.. she on the computer.. and then i wanted to transfer in some songs into my phone.. so i went in.. so we waited for the com to on.. and then somebody came in and say, come watch the second cd of seed and chucky! then i said, I-Lyn wants to show me something lar.. then she said, nvm lar later only show u.. so i went outside.. it was so dark.. O_O i was like, why off the light man.. then everyone shouted happy birthday and sang the birthday song.. and yeah.. hehe.. it was so touching.. ^^ then cut the cake, eat the cake and take pictures.. hehehe.. then one by one went off.. starting with Carmen, Mei Yen, Tze Ni, Jing, I-Lyn, Pei Ying and myself sleep over in Ze Yin's house.. hehe.. it was fun.. and to Cynthia, Guat Phing, Wei Yen and Kim Mei, it's okay ler u guys can't come..Cyn is cos of her aunty.. Guat Phing is her mom don't let.. Wei Yen is in KL for debate, and Kim Mei couldn't turn up.. there's still another time right? =] our everlasting friendship will lead us to more and more parties and etc etc.. and shopping! xD and skating! =p tomorrow.. hehehe.. my mom is gonna kill me le i go out so many times.. nvm la.. hehe.. and i am not sure of tomorrow.. =p
and lastly, thank u all so much! love u all so much! and also, thanks to Ze Yin's mom! she gave me angpao.. so paiseh.. >.<>

p/s : i was too touched til i forgotten to smash u people eh pretty pretty face with CAKES.. xD

Buckcherry-Sorry

Oh I, Had alot to say
Was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things werent the same
Cause everything inside, it never comes out right
and when i see you cry, it makes me wanna die

Im sorry im bad, im sorry im blue
im sorry about all the things i said to you
and i know i cant take it back

I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
and baby the way you make my world go round
and i just wanted to say, Im sorry

This time, i think im to blame
Its harder to get through the days
We get older and blame turns to shame
Cause everything inside, it never comes out right
and when i see you cry, It makes me wanna die

Im sorry im bad, im sorry im blue
im sorry about all the things i said to you
and i know i cant take it back

I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
and baby the way you make my world go round
and i just wanted to say, Im sorry

Every single day i think about how we came all this way
the sleepless nights and the tears you cried
Its never to late to make it right, oh yeah

Im sorry im bad, im sorry im blue
im sorry about all the things i said to you
and i know i cant take it back

I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
and baby the way you make my world go round
and i just wanted to say, Im sorry

Im sorry

sorry if u think i should apologize.. sincerely apologizing.. <3

gotong-royong

ahhh~ went to school to clean the school just now.. =( making my whole body so tired... nothing much happened today.. was kinda disappointed with something.. never mind that.. sigh~ my birthday is coming soon.. well.. not really.. what's my greatest wish of all? is everyONE to be happy ALWAYS! yes.. that's VERY VERY important. i don't want anymore tears and heart-breaking! enough! and i really really hope that i can see his precious smile =]
one of the greatest gift too.. i wonder if he remembers my birthday.. though it's not very important..it's ok ler i guess.. he is having exams too.. so i think it will be okay.. and i wanna go shopping! xD i know, i am such a shopaholic.. what to do? girls ma! =p and and i am broke! =( some more gonna go skating with I-lyn, Cynthia, Guat Phing, Eunice and Tze ni! die laaa.. mom sure nag de.. =( never mind.. let her nag la.. hehe~
oh yea~ tomorrow would be fun!!! hehe! a lot of people going to Ze's house.. so i bet it'll be really fun.. no more sad sad stuff.. =p my birthday wish is gonna achieve.. =p and and yea! forgotten about one.. no more wars and natural disaster man.. it's a real pain to hear about these kinda news k.. so please be thankful..=]

invisible

went for the wesak day progression just now.. i wasn't tired this year.. don't know why.. tonight i don't want to talk about peer.. so....... i know it's lame but i cried on wesak day.. =.='
never mind.. don't know why my tears automatically roll down my cheeks when i saw someone with someone.. lol.. i am talking nonsense again.. never mind. and i felt so invisible.. i feel like i am a little kid.. a sudden thought of myself not suit that special someone.. this is a terrible feeling.. ugh! why am i feeling like this? i hate myself seriously.. why am i being so sensitive? paranoid? emotional? bla bla bla~ and pei ying said i am not holy.. which is kinda true.. i was thinking of this question the whole time.. and my stupid brain go think that is it that someone is shy to introduce me to that someone's friends? something like that.. am i not good enough? what should i do? no wonder 360 degrees of my life is so dull.. frankly, a warm hug or a smile from a special someone can colour my dullest night. <3

i hate being too jealous sometimes..
trying hard to change.. give me some time.
...teardrops...

you

the word 'you' can mean a lot.. in fact, every word to me means a lot.. i feel weird.. haha.. like some teacher said something about some word.. some words has very big meaning or something like that.. so someone's word or actions or pictures.. anything.. can seriously influence someone, hurt someone, cheer up some one~ et cetera et cetera... so use your words wisely.. think twice before shooting something.. think twice before doing something.. and even think twice before wasting something.. it's a sin to waste..

i can't help thinking about and of you. <3

page 2

Appreciate

Nat and her friends had planned something really nice for her friend's birthday.. and tomorrow is the day! she can't wait for it.. she hopes her friend likes it.. as they had put a lot of effort in it.. =] but~ they are going to have a pot luck! and Nat doesn't know what she should bring for tomorrow.. =( ahhh~ never mind. there's always ups and down in our lives.. tomorrow would be an up she hopes.. =] the down side of her is, sadly, friends.. she is still in this fear.. it's like.. she's a volcano or something.. should she like, erupt it or swallow back the lava?? =.=' ignore me crapping.. but, one thing that made Nat sad is that, she's afraid.. know what is she afraid of....? she's afraid of Rainie.. Nat really treasure this friendship with Rainie.. but another thing is.. Rainie is like.. not being herself or something.. Nat herself is confused.. =( i am worry about Nat.. she's confused and scared and everything.. doesn't know what to do.. sigh-ness.. another thing is, influence.. is Rainie influencing Phoebe and Carrie? Nat noticed that Phoebe seems to be a little different.. don't know how different.. she seriously don't know.. but then again, as i said.. she's really sad and afraid.. maybe she is too weak.. too weak to loose a friend. a valuable one.. the one she appreciate.. running away from the reality is only temporary.. she needs to face it bravely.. so now, the only way is either sound out for her friend's own good, or, let it be the way it is.. and see how's everything.. she can sense something.. something will happen.. some thing~ BAD.

page 2-appreciate
being yourself is what makes u a powerful magnet
grasp whatever is in your hands tightly
don't cry because u loose it, smile because it happened
better late than sorry
p.s- some quotes are self-made..=D

page 1

page 1~drama
there's been a lot of drama going on here and there. no one is to be blame.. it's how everyone around want to take an actual day to speak out everything that is wrong.. could it be Natalie? well.. that's a question to be consider.. she knows if she does this, then she shall be the hatred one.. but who cares right?? Natalie doesn't give it a damn. know why? cos she's tired and sick of these whispering and eyes contact and etc etc~
moreover, she knew that if she is to plan an outing, she knew that some of them wouldn't wanna go..plus, even if they go, one gang here and one gang there.. scattered everywhere.. that's for sure.. no doubt.. so what can she do to save everything?? she wants some advice that would hurt no one's feeling, won't mess up everything, and hopes someone she can count on face it with her as this is not easy.. help her! she is just like all of us.. a mortal with soul and emotions and a fragile heart.. would anyone care to leave a comment so that we can all help to save this win-win situation?? tell her what to do! she is helpless now.. the bricks in her walls behind her always supporting her is getting lesser and lesser day by day.. she almost tumble.. so can anyone please tell her if she should say everything out and tell her beloved friends that what is wrong with her or them? or both? don't keep anymore...!
or should she keeps quiet and let everything go the way it's been always? she is confused.. oh yes she is.. u don't know.. u just don't.

page 1-friendship
ignorance is bliss
action speaks louder than words

jerk

i felt so bad.. i am a real jerk. seriously.. i let go my anger on him.. its not really angry but.. sigh~ i don't know whats wrong with me.. and i told I-Lyn to help me.. =] thanks girl.. make sure you do it tomorrow.. heh..

CHRISTINA AGUILERA-HURT

Seems like it was yesterday
 When I saw your face
 You told me how proud you were,
 But I walked away
 If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh
I would hold you in my arms
 I would take the pain away
 Thank you for all you've done
 Forgive all your mistakes
 There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
 But I know you won't be there
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside
 But I won't admit
 Sometimes I just wanna hide
 'Cause it's you I miss
 And it's so hard to say goodbye
 When it comes to this, ooh
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
 Are you looking down upon me?
 Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back 
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
 For everything I just couldn't do
 And I've hurt myself, oh
If I had just one more day
 I would tell you how much that I've missed you
 Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
 It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
 And I've hurt myself..
 By hurting you

i fake a smile so he won't see.....

unrevealed

its is impossible for me to find someone like you again.. no matter what you think, but if i ever fall in love again, i swore the feeling wouldn't be the same like how i felt for you.. i typed a whole long post but due to some error its all gone.. ahhh.. stupid post.. never mind.. here's a short one.. i guess its ok too.. hmmm~

when you smile, my world is lit again.

borderland

i cant believe i am actually watching movies when exams is like, four days time..? hmm~ i've been a bad girl i know.. =( this film called 'borderland' is really.. *speechless* its about this drug dealers who's trying to smuggle drugs to the northern side.. he praised the Nganga(i think) and sacrifices people to pass the cops.. they'll be hallucinate; something like that.. and then smuggle the druge to the northern side.. this show takes place in Spain.. they chop off human body parts alive.. did i mention they even chop the head and they likes it even more if the poor guy shout??? this is ridiculous isn't it?? they need to be teach! they're born with this type of environment.. somebody has got to do something about it.. its real life story btw.. i felt so sick now.. tataz

and before i go, i'm crying again.. i know.. i should take whatever that is coming.. but i really can't take it.. i tried.. i really do.. when i opens and see it,there goes my tears.. . . . . . . . . .

exams.. =(

yeahh.. exams are coming soonnn.. sad isn't it? how i wish it could end faster! =( and i still have reports to write, folios to do, homework to be done, etc.. this is a tough year for everyone i must agree.. seeing everyone's life is so hectic and down and complicated..everyday.. happy moments are just getting lesser and lesser.. sighness.. holidays.. faster comee.. but then again.. not much of fun also la i guess.. to me, holidays nowadays is something normal for me.. nothing to be happy about or excited about.. =( my brain's getting more and more confused nowadays.. he's tensed up too i know... that's why i am trying to avoid bothering him so much.. but will it affect anything between us? only God knows i guess.. sigh.. things don't always go the way we want them to be i guess.. if we're meant to be.. then whatever is happening now or whatever he is thinking now won't affect us.. =] just wished and prayed to God that he is blessed with great health and may happiness will always stay with him..bless my fellow friends too.. taking exams.. haihs.. not much time to study and i can still sit here and blog.. keng? xD

-afraid to loose u
-wake up and face reality
-don't be afraid and be strong
-God bless all of you
-felt so tired
-need a long rest
-need to get away from my life for a short while and clear my mind
-need some air; suffocated
-mind is all tangled up
-you would be happy always
-knowing what is on your mind
-everyone would be happy
-war stops
-etc etc...


我爱你 xing ni bu yao li kai.. teng wo.. cos wo hui teng ni te.. =] <3

hyper! x p

today i felt like blogging.. its only 6.46pm and i am here sitting in front of the computer not getting my homework done but well, blogging.. haha.. i have so many things to say! lol. i felt i don't really blog about myself lately..well, practically not my problems or anything.. just that i don't want some people to feel hurt after reading my post.. but what is my main purpose of blogging?? is to get update with my life right? so why care what others' may think.. i don't backstab. if anybody do feel i do.. then go ahead and tell me.. i think i can take it.. =]
ahhh.. so fast.. another month passed..its gonna be the 25th again.. <3
i know alerize.. u love it when i put <3 right? xD <3 <3 <3 ^^
i guess i will blog again tonight about my life more kua.. maybe next time.. see my mood ..=] chaoz

sleepover in pei ying's house!

okay, today is the very FIRST time i sleepover in someone's house.. i know.. i am very kuai.. =p
so today is a memorable day! 19 April 2008! =]]

this is the so called 'cool' picture! =p

this is me promoting pei ying's printer..haha! too sien de..=p

this is two of my best friends! =p
i like this picture! *smiles*

[joy+excitement+hyperness]+ur words=souless

haha..i know it doesn't makes sense! =] i am going crazy.. yeahh.. i admit.. nevermind.. i really dont care about anything anymore.. i've had it with my life.. seriously.. some people are like 'uhhh' and still.. haihss... i know my post does not makes sense.. nevermind.. =.='
i guess i will stop blogging for a period of time already. i mean, what's the point?? like it helps.. maybe for some of us.. but not all.. so back to my old lifestyle! everything keeps quiet and wah lah!~ nothing happened.. even better.. i tell out also didnt change anything in my life.. so no need la.. =] tragedies and drama and chaos and God knows what else is coming up for me.. i guess this month's horoscope is really true.. it says that i better prepared myself to face more and more stress that will somehow lead to depression.. nothing can stop it from coming.. so.. oh well.. guess thats all.. see ya'

tag

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. What are you craving now?


2. What was the last movie you've watched?
just like heaven.. i watched it again actually.. does that count?

3. If you were to be stranded on a desert island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you?
umm.. none.. cos, i wouldn't want them to be stranded with me.

4. What are you most happy with now?
hmm~ i am luckier than 70% of the children around the globe?

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
to be...erm...i dunno... i think i'll want everyone to be happy.. its so sad seeing them sad.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
yeahh..

7. Why are you wasting your time to do this?
its because i find it interesting?

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
abo! life is short...so why must we be afraid.. its not a crime to love someone..

9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
hmm~ helpful, kind and sweet

10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
well, i wish i could be better.. for everyone.. and myself of course.

11. Which type of person do you hate the most?
haha. i hate liars, wanna-be's and also pretenders..

12. What is your ambition?
to be.... i dont really know.. today i was asked by ze yin too..

13. If you have fault, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
depends on who i am finding faults with. *winks*

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
most important?? well, dont have.. everything that i treasure are equally important! Family, Friends and happiness(him)

15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
haha.. u think??

16. Find a word to describe the person who tagged you
erm.. she is EMO xD

17. What will you do when someone faints in front of you?
i would follow him/her and let other people worry about it. =]
haha.. call the ambulance ler..

18. What makes you different?
i am no different from others actually..

19. What am I eating now?
jellybeans.. =]

20. Why do I believe in fairy tales?
i believe in reality more.. fairy tales are sweet sometimes.. but it's not wrong to imagine at times..=]

i would tag....erm....i duno...lol...anyone feels like doing it just go ahead..=]

hmm, yesterday i went to my new add maths tuition.. the sir is a really awesome teacher! i am glad i have such an awesome teacher.. =]
one thing i hate about the tuition is......yeah, the girls from ***.. they're like super 'quiet'.. like they're outing or something.. =.='' terrible man.. but overall i guess it's ok.. =]
today i-lyn and guat phing gave me a necklace.. they bought it for me from malacca..or KL.. i dunno..haha! but still, how thoughtful of them.. oh yea and ze yin bought me something too! nice.. and it's green..=p thank u so muchie! go on a trip and still think of me and got me something.. *sniff sniff* xD now i am exaggerating.. =p
today i made a list of memorable things.. i scared that i can't remember them.. so i did.. =]] and i missed out some i reckon.. sure of it.. bad memories.. sigh~ must eat 'ginkgo' already.. xD
i want to buy a book and record everything inside! and put in some pictures too.. will do it when i got go out lar.. hehe.. i wish i had a camera.. on my own.. =( so that i can take all the memorable places.. and great people i've met throughout my whole life.. and keeping it.. hmm.. soon... hehe..i hope.. =]] and i think i must get a cdr-w and keep all my pictures inside.. or else later if my computer is taken to reformat, i am gonna break down and cry.. seriously... his computer already had it.. ze yin's also.. but luckily some of it she burnt them into 2cds earlier.. =]]
hmm~ i guess that's all for now.. relationships between my friends and i are ok in the mean time.. i hope and pray that we will remain and perhaps gets better! =]
mine and his is.....i dunno about it myself... ><> <3

doomed

dieeee......
i didn't touch any of my homework.. kuai le me?? =]
some more can online.. haha.. superb.. gonna go work like hell now.. =p
see ya!

loving him more and more each day..=]

queensbay with pei ying!

yep! i went to queensbay with pei ying today! hehe~ it was fun! except for the part where we waited for the bus though.. stupid bus don't know why din't come at all! waited from 4pm to 5.30pm. can u imagine that?? 1 and a half hour.. wasted.. grr.. at last her dad have to fetch us there.. will post some of the pictures soon.. it's with her.. hehe..

went to different different shops.. hehe.. most of the things i see there reminds me of 'us'.. haihs.. no matter where also can bring my mind to him.. its so.... i dunno.. i see stars bottle.. i see manga.. bleach.. extreme.. pig.. pooh.. tgi.. sushi.. bossini.. cinema.. god. is that almost everything? haha..

we walked everywhere.. fun fun! =] except the part where our feet hurts.. haha.. then in bus stop time piggy back pei ying.. *u are so light thats why..=p*

too tired to type de.. =( thats all for tonight.. =]

Mariah Carey-Without You

No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows

No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now it's only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

I can't live
if living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
if living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore

Well I can't forget this evening
Nor your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows

I can't live
if living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
if living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
(No I cant live)
(No I cant live)
I cant live
(No I cant live)
(No I cant live)
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
Can't live..

unbreak my heart

Unbreak My Heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry this tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my

Un-break my heart oh baby
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on

can't go on

i love you
never change...don't think of me that way please..----> <3